Couple envy is a very real thing.
We’ve all been there: standing at a function, arm around your partner, and grip slowly tightening around your glass of champagne as the couple in front of you start to tell you about their ‘city apartment’ and ‘country house’ and adopted dalmatian and collection of rare blown-glass plates.
It’s that moment when your mind flicks back to your morning, when you yelled at your partner for putting an empty jar of vegemite back in the fridge, then cried because your ASOS delivery didn’t arrive.
The best thing is these situations is just to paste a big fake smile on your face and imagine their blown-glass plates exploding around their living room. But what if this couple is in your face, on your phone, twenty-four hours day?
Let us introduce Sally Mustang and Mitch Gobel, simultaneously claiming the title as Australia’s most hated AND most loved couple. They catapulted into the world of public judgement by – you guessed it – Instagram.
Um, so where do we start.
This is Sally.
And this is Mitch.
I know you call people who live in Melbourne, ‘Melbournians’ but what do you call people who live in sunny Sydney? ????????☀️ For the past few weeks I’ve been working on a new body of artwork and I’ve recently decided I want to do a new exhibition, my third solo show. I’ve never had any work exhibited or even displayed in a Sydney gallery and I would LOVE for a few of you to come check out my art! Any suggestions on a gallery who you think might suit my work and I? A photo posted by Mitch Gobel Resin Art (@mitchgobel_resinart) on Feb 4, 2016 at 12:41am PST
Their vital stats are as follows:
- hot blonde
- yoga expert
- visual artist
- prolific blogger
- underwear model
- actually seems like a nice person
- model good looks
- OK with wearing face paint
Are you crying yet? No?
Ok, I’ll keep going.
We asked: how much sex are YOU having?
(post continues after video)
The couple travel the world together, have a combined Instagram following of over 200,000 fans, have donated $25,000 to Australia Zoo, and have a searing hot sex life in their artist’s bungalow in heaven-on-earth, Byron Bay.
Oh, and they own a rare turquoise macaw.
They have stirred up controversy this week as Instagram has moved to delete some of their raunchier sex posts.
Good food does lead to good sex, and in a perfect world good music does too.. @mitchgobel_resinart The intimacy, sexiness and raw emotion that is involved in our connection is unlike anything I have ever felt. Two beating hearts become one- @aletheia_phos @mitchgobel_resinart A photo posted by Sally Mustang (@sallymustang) on Nov 17, 2015 at 12:29am PST
Apart from that, there’s really nothing more to this story except that they are amazing, we’re sick with jealousy, and it’s only fair that you fall down the same rabbit hole of envy.
Please begin with Mitch’s Instagram here.
And Sally’s Instagram here.
And we’ll close with a picture of this genetically blessed bohemiam royalty pashing in a van, at sunrise, on a beach, BECAUSE THEIR LIVES ARE PERFECT OK?
*flips table and walks away*
Faced down on the bed, with her hands tied behind her back. Legs wide open, her ankles tied to the corner footings of the bed frame. I slowly but firmly put the weight of my body down on hers, whispered into her ear and told her ‘if you make any noise, or move even just a little, I’m going to stop’. As a reply she gave me a subtle ‘mhmm’ and with that it was like her body was paralysed. She was so focused on laying still that she even slowed down her breathing. I slowly moved back down towards her thighs and continued gently teasing… This has always been one of my favourite games ???? It was always hard for me to be comfortable expressing myself like this sexually. Confidence slowly built with more steady relationships and I realised the power I had within my mind and through my words in bed. Similar principles apply to my art. As an artist in such a competitive industry, how you present and talk about your work is just as important as the art itself. I had to learn to be comfortable taking not only about what my work meant to me, but even bigger than that – my ambition. Being confident in using my words and trusting my instincts, is what I owe a lot of my success to. In the studio and in bed.