Anthony Lane, a reviewer for The New Yorker, has written an oddly sexual review of The Incredibles 2.
Yep, it seems Lane saw something a lil’ bit sexy about an animated movie that centres around a crime-fighting family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
Lane begins his review by mentioning a sexual position that I definitely had to look up on Urban Dictionary. It’s called trampolining and it has nothing to do with that dangerous-looking contraption in your backyard.
“As a rule, any marriage in which one partner can willingly cry out to the other, ‘Trampoline me!,’ inspires only envy and awe.”
He then starts to describe Mrs Incredibles’ “long tall boots” and “empowering outfit” that is “as tight as a second skin”.
At this point Lane decides to compare the animated family movie to the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise.
Oh… and he mentions boners.
“Take your seat at any early-evening screening of Incredibles 2 in the coming days, listen carefully, and you may just hear a shifty sound, as of parents squirming awkwardly beside their enraptured offspring. And why, kids? Because Mommy just leaned over to Daddy and whispered, “Is it just me, or does Mrs. Incredible kind of look like Anastasia in Fifty Shades of Grey? You know, the girl in the Red Room, with the whips and all?” And Daddy just rested his cooling soda firmly in his lap and, like Mr. Incredible, tried very hard to think of algebra. As for how Daddy will react later on, during the scene in which Helen and the husky-voiced Evelyn unwind and simply talk, woman to woman, I hate to think, but watch out for flying popcorn.”
Yep, that just happened.
Twitter, of course, is having a field day:
I would very much like to speak to the gentleman who got so horny during THE INCREDIBLES 2 that he simply couldn’t keep it out of his written review, hours later.
— Scott Wampler™ (@ScottWamplerBMD) June 19, 2018
This is weird and bad, but has this critic’s horniness has also infected his eyes? Elastigirl looks nothing like Dakota Johnson?
— Dobson, We’ve Got Dobson Here! (@Dobsonverse) June 19, 2018
Daaamn this is some really hard projecting. Doesn’t tell me anything about the movie but I sure know more than I wanted to about this reviewers sexual thoughts…
— NewSeptember (@SamualSeptember) June 19, 2018
this guy needs to calm the hell down if a scene of two women talking platonically to each other within the context of a kid’s movie is giving him boners
— Joe Sicario (@joe_sicario) June 19, 2018
used up one of my free New Yorker articles on the horny Incredibles 2 review and honestly it was the right decision
— JuanPa (@jpbrammer) June 19, 2018
The New Yorker film critic is [checks notecards] horny as hell for the thicc mom from the Incredibles?
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) June 19, 2018
If you would like to learn more about the
porn film family movie that is The Incredibles 2, you can read the full review on The New Yorker.