A few months ago I felt like I hit a wall. I felt stuck and wanted to shake things up.
To keep only what I could carry. To release myself from the history of it all.
Don’t get me wrong I love beautiful things. I love art and I appreciate luxury but do I need it? No. At least not as much as I needed a shake up.
With only two suit cases, I can live anywhere I choose without worrying about storing my things or having someone else take care of them. Nor do I need much space.
As I began to sort through my things and rid myself of various belongings, I could see the emotions and habits that were somehow tied to them.
I was letting go of the past and calling in the new.
Three things became very clear to me whilst sorting through my belongings. First, how I had created strong walls against allowing a romantic relationship to enter my life. Second, my lack of commitment to choices and third, I hadn’t yet embraced my need for constant change.
I have always punished myself for not being able to stand still. I hadn’t been looking at it as moving forward.
I haven’t been able to choose where I want to be and truly make a life there. I have always had one foot out the door. Ready to move on to the next place in the blink of an eye.
Recently I have started to question if this is the shameful fault I’ve perceived it to be? Is it something worth punishing myself for? Why have I not just embraced this about myself?