I'm pregnant and my brain's fallen out...

As Monty Dimond writes, being a bit fuzzy when you’re pregnant is one thing, but having to write ‘You have a two year old, feed him’ on your hand is a whole new level of crazy.

I think the kid that is currently growing inside me is devouring my memory at a seriously alarming rate.

A soon as I fall pregnant (this is my second baby) it’s a small miracle if I can remember my right from my left.

People laugh it off when you say you have ‘pregnancy brain’; but I have a bad case of it and it’s driving me nuts. If anyone has ever doubted if this is a real thing or not, spend two minutes with me, I’m all the proof you need.

When you wake up one morning and you are only running at half speed, it’s confronting and frustrating. I guess that is punishment for having unprotected sex.

I’m one of those people that usually have a pretty great memory; I manage to remember things that happened yonks ago, so much so that my partner thinks I’m like a memory rain man.  At the moment though my memory is so bad that I almost need to write my name on a post it note each night before bed so I remember who I am when I wake up.

I decided to do a little research into ‘preggo brain’ which I recently found out is also referred to as ‘mumnesia’. I like that, it makes it sound a little quirky and cute even though it’s anything but.

I went to the place I go to a lot for advice, self diagnosis and general information…Dr Google. Bless her cotton socks. I typed in, ‘is pregnancy brain a real thing, I’m feeling seriously dumb?’ To my utter horror the first thing that appeared was a study saying it’s all baloney.

Of course that made my hormones rage and I felt terrible un-holy things towards the people who conducted this study. Then I quickly forgot why I was so mad.

I did, however, stumble across a forum of fellow preggos experiencing what I am.

I was super thrilled to read that our actual brains do not change when we are growing a  human, no cells are killed off or anything quite as dramatic as that but it’s super common for women to not feel as sharp as normal.

It’s official that I am well and truly the bluntest tool in the shed at the moment.

The loss of memory has something to do with lack of sleep, multi tasking and the surging level of hormones.

The stuff I have been doing or forgetting to do at the moment is embarrassing. I have always been a ‘to-do’ list type of gal but at the moment I’m having to write things down like “don’t forget you have a two year old, feed him”.

I know I am not alone here. My best friend who is usually well on the ball is also up the duff. The other day she drove to meet a friend for lunch. When she got there she hopped out of her car, went into the café and had a joyous lunch for a couple of hours. As she was leaving she realised she couldn’t find her car keys. Literally after an hour of looking she headed back to her car to find it unlocked with the keys in the ignition and the car still running! Pop that in your study researchers.

After my first baby (who is now two), it took me a good year to feel ‘unfoggy’ again. I’m in for a bit of a wait until I can no longer walk into a room and have no idea why I walked in there to start with.

Best I stay home, sit on the couch and watch Ellen on repeat for the next 18 months. It’s not safe for any of us to have me roaming wild. If you see a pregnant lady in the street looking a little dazed, give me a pat and ring the number on my name tag please.

Which pregnancy side-effects took you most by surprise?

For more of Monty’s work, make sure you visit her website Show and Tell.