real life

"The moment I realised I will be single forever."

Have you ever found yourself thinking – truly, whole-heartedly thinking, ‘I’m going to be single forever’?

In a thread on Quora, users delved into the lightbulb moments they realised they would permanently be single; that they would stop chasing the elusive, and sometimes painfully non-existent, “one”.

Here’s what they had to say.

‘People say “I can handle it”, but they can’t.’

We don’t think much of it, but allergies can drive a wedge in the dating world.

“I have a lot of allergies. By a lot, I mean I can’t eat or be exposed to most fruit, vegetables, grains or poultry,” one woman wrote. “A couple of pieces of chopped onion sitting on the counter can make me violently ill for days. Dust is a problem, scents, pollens etc.”

Sadly, the woman believes her restricted lifestyle is one that people can’t handle, even if they insist they can.

“I don’t see ever having any sort of relationship. People may say, “I can handle it” but after a few months – they discover they really can’t, and the hostility and resentment arrives. No thanks.”

‘Rejection is too much.’

Everyone has a fear of rejection. No one wants to put their heart on the line and have it crushed by a potential partner-to-be. But there’s fear of rejection and then there’s what user Lee is hindered by: not possessing the mental fortitude to overcome it.

“I quickly came to the conclusion that dating was essentially impossible for me,” Lee explained.

“When I realised I was much deeper than the vast majority of people, I lost interest. If a woman doesn’t affect my very core being and make me want to dig deeper into the infinite world of wisdom, I have no interest.”


The 22-year-old, who describes himself as “devoted to science”, and whose vision will deteriorate over his lifetime until he is blind, finished by saying: “I embrace the occasional feelings of loneliness, as they serve as a reminder that this life I’m living is not a dream, and a living, recurring reminder of my efforts and struggles.”

‘I’m not beautiful enough.’

“I realised that [I will always be single] long ago, when I was a teenager,” Marina wrote.

“Boys didn’t like me because I was not beautiful. I knew that nobody would love me and I realised that the earlier I understand that fact the better. But it was hard to accept it. It took me years to get used to the thought that I would live my life without men at all.”

Still, Marina lived out her dream of becoming a single mother. And, over time, “forgot that men exist.”

But wait – the story isn’t over.

“Many years later to my great surprise a very special man entered my life. I was 37 years old. To me it’s a big mystery how that could have happened. We don’t live together and are not going to but I highly appreciate his presence in my life as he is very special indeed – the only man in my life who has ever paid any attention to me.”

Your love is solely meant for one person.

Sometimes it is just plain and simple: your soulmate has passed away and you can’t see yourself loving anyone else.

“He was 89 years old. I am 85. I lost my loved one, but my heart is not free. Nobody can ever take his place in my heart,” wrote Magda.

Do you think you will be single forever?

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