
I had an affair with your husband, to whom I am now married, and I am so, so sorry. If there is one decision in my life I could undo, it would be this. Because of what it did to you, because of what it’s done to me, and because it was just plain wrong.
I won’t take full responsibility for the breakdown of your marriage. The myth of the homewrecker is just that — a myth. No one can wreck someone’s home against his will. You two wrecked your home on your own, before I ever came on the scene. And anyway, you had an affair too, so I know you understand.
However, I still owe you several apologies beyond the apology for my original sin.
Watch: Emotional vs Physical affairs. Post continues below.
I am sorry I believed the things he said about you.
He told me that you were dumb. He said it without malice or animosity — just presented it as a fact; you weren’t that smart and therefore he was bored with you.
Now I’m the stupid one; he tells me regularly. But I know I’m not stupid, and now I know that you aren’t, either. I’m sorry I didn’t challenge him when he said that you were.
He told me that you were too lazy to work, too much of a prima donna. I admit this caused me to look down on you since I’m such a worker myself, since I’ve always been self-sufficient. But I find myself calling in sick more and more these days, asking my boss if I can work from home on others. Not because I want to spend time with him, but because I’m afraid to leave him in charge of our two children during the day (he works from home, and you know how he can snap when he’s angry, when someone irritates him or argues with him about nearly anything).