‘My friend’s daughter is a bully and I don’t want to tell her.’

One of the nicest mum’s I’ve ever met has a daughter who at the ripe old age of six is a little bully. She is so mean to my daughter and many of the girls in her class and has been this way since kindergarten.

I knew my daughter was having a few problems with her but put it down to the fact this girl was more confident than my daughter. I focused on building up my daughter’s confidence, to make her less of a follower.

Then this year I found out from other mums that they are having problems with the same little girl.

None of us want to tell this girl’s parents because they are seriously two of the most lovely people we’ve ever met and this girl is their only child. If they even believe that their little angel is a little monster at school, it will break their hearts.

Their daughter is just so mean.

She tries to control all the girls, tells them who to like and who not to like. She forms groups and excludes girls for silly reasons. She ostracises other girls and then informs the group they are not allowed to play with them because they “are ugly” or “stupid” or “too loud” or “smell”.

Advertisement Patty from the movie Diary of a Whimpy Kid reminds me so much of what this little girl is like. Image: Diary of a Whimpy Kid, 20th Century Fox.

How on earth did a six-year-old girl who looks like a princess and acts like an angel around grown ups be such a little brat?

So far we've only complained about her directly to the teacher and she's been really good about trying to handle it all. I just feel that if it was my daughter I'd want to know. I don't want to have a daughter who is mean and a bully. I'd want to try and fix it before she gets older and becomes a big bully instead of a little one.

I just don't know how they'll react though.

We've thought of drawing straws to decide who will be the one to tell them. We've thought of bringing it up in conversation in a non-confrontational way, if that's even possible.

"Hi! Can I get you coffee? Your daughter told my daughter she was ugly yesterday. Do you want a muffin with your coffee?"

Something like that.

Kids talk about bullying and how they think it can be stopped. Article continues after this video.

I'm just dreading it. But I'd want to know. Not all parents want to know but it feels to me I should at least try and tell her that her daughter behaves dreadfully at school because from what I can tell they have no idea.

Also, I really want her daughter to stop being so mean to other girls, my daughter included.

Every week my daughter comes home repeating something horrible this girl has told her about who is and isn't ugly, who is and isn't part of the group, who is and isn't allowed to play with them. My daughter was told she wasn't allowed to sit with them whenever she had a salami sandwich because salami smells.

My daughter cried because she wasn't allowed to play with another girl she really likes. When I told her to play with her anyway she said she couldn't because this mean little girl would get angry at her.

'How can one girl control an entire class?' Image: Diary of a Whimpy Kid, 20th Century Fox

It's such a ridiculous situation and so incredibly disturbing. These are six-year-olds being told they are ugly and smell, being made to follow rules they had no part in making up.

This is one little girl controlling the entire class and most of them do her bidding.

I just want it to stop and so far the school has only addressed specific situations, not the problem in general.

I'm the one everyone is looking to. I'm the one they want to have the conversation with our friend, this lovely mum. I'm dreading it. Maybe I can leave her an anonymous note? I don't know.

Something has to be done. This little terror has got to be stopped.

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