It’s been a long week, you guys.
My husband is unnecessarily excited about seeing the new Star Wars film, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, which premieres world wide this week. He is anxiously preparing for its imminent release, including by buying copies of the original trilogy on DVD. According to him, these films defined a generation in many ways. Apparently me asking why I should have to go and see it, is like asking why I should have to go and see the Mona Lisa (another very good question).
There are couples everywhere faced with this very same conundrum. Where one party to the relationship has a love of all things Star Wars that is entirely disproportionate to the other party, whose interest is best described as ‘mild boredom’. To those individuals, I say this: I feel your pain and have put together a handy list of the 62 reasons I cannot go and see Star Wars with my husband. I hope that one or more of these helps you in keeping the remainder of 2015 Star Wars free.
If you happen to be a Star Wars person (or need some incentive to NOT see it) here is the trailer:
A list of reasons that I cannot watch Star Wars:
1. Because I do not enjoy science fiction, fantasy or make-believe plot lines. Unless it’s Harry Potter.
2. Because I already learned every relevant Star Wars pop-culture reference by watching The Simpsons.
3. Because it is only a week until Christmas and there are presents to wrap.
4. Because someone has to look after our baby and this is not baby-sitter worthy.
5. Because wouldn’t you prefer to go with a mate?
6. Because I am washing my hair that night.
7. No, I can’t do both because I am washing my hair multiple times that night.
8. No, sorry. It’s not negotiable. My hair takes priority over Ewoks.
9. Because I can never remember if it is light saver or light sabre and don’t wish to make a social faux pas in the queue.
10. Because the Luke character appears to be extremely whiny and annoying.
11. Besides, the whole world already knows what happens. *Spoiler alert: The black hooded bloke with the deep voice is Luke’s father.
12. Because I do not find it funny that people list their religion as ‘Jedi’ on the Census. The Census is a big deal and should be taken seriously.