I’m your classic Type A personality: goal-orientated, impatient, and highly organised. And whilst none of these traits are bad individually, pair that with my need to always be in control, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster when things don’t go to plan.
Enter: My anxiety.
It’s hard to explain what anxiety feels like. It’s different for everyone — it can present in so many ways, all taking an impact on your mental and physical health.
Watch: Here's what would happen if my brain could text me... Post continues below.
For me, it’s constant worrying with a side serving of never switching off. The best way I can describe how my brain functions is like being a hamster on a wheel — it keeps churning and churning with no off switch.
As I run at full speed, a sea of constant 'what if's' cloud my brain...
'What if I hadn’t made that joke? Would her reaction have been the same?'
'What if I’d done this differently?'
'What if I’d taken that job?'
'What if I’d gone for a run today?'
And whilst these moments are normal and necessary (especially when we are faced with difficult decisions), it can become problematic when you start to question every event, outcome, or result.
Without exercising control of your mind, the 'what if' cycle leads to you doubting your own abilities — which manifests in predicting how different scenarios will play out. And because we’re human and don’t have all the answers, it feeds into our anxiety, starting the 'what if' cycle all over again.