Last night, I found myself hanging at a rooftop bar with my closest group of friends.
It was, for us, a fairly average Friday night. We were at a local bar, with our best friends, having a quiet but night. Traditionally, it’s my favourite kind of night, surrounded by the people I love the most.
Though it’s my husband’s group of friends, they’ve come to be some of my best friends too. For example, I’ve always been close to my husband’s closest childhood mate. After all, they grew up together – a little bit like brothers – so I never actually had a choice. Let’s just say I was lucky that he was such an easy guy to get along with.
At 28, I’ve known him for as long as I’ve known my husband – nearly seven years.
But as we sat around a big table, and my husband hopped up to go to the bathroom, he approached me, sitting himself down next to me. He was drunk, this much I could tell. Some glistening eyes and a big grin can give away even the best actors.
“I’ve always had a thing for you in the background,” he told me.
I laughed it off. Of course you haven’t, I said, making light of what had the beginnings of an uncomfortable conversation.
“I’ve always thought that if I wasn’t with my fiancé, and you weren’t with Jacob, we’d be together,” he went on.
I laughed again, looking around nervously for my husband. Were other people listening? Did I look guilty? Was I guilty by association?
I did my best to change the subject. It didn’t work.
“A lot of things would have to fall into place for us to be a thing, but I do think about it every time I see you,” he added.
“You’re very attractive.”
I laughed again, my eyes wide. In hindsight, I wished I said something smart or clever to communicate I wasn’t happy with his comments. But I was in too much shock. So I said nothing.
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With a sigh of relief, I saw my husband return, drinks in hand, and I eagerly called him over. It killed the conversation immediately, though it didn’t dispel a tiny knot in my stomach that had formed since the moment my husband’s best friend had opened his mouth.
I spent the rest of the night thinking about it, before we decided to go home.
As we stood up to leave and say our goodbyes, I tentatively made my way over to my husband’s best friend and kissed him on the cheek to say goodbye. As he leaned over, his hand grazed my bum. It was subtle, but to me, felt very intentional.
I’m blown away that this is how he acted. We’ve been intoxicated together multiple times before, and to my knowledge, he’s never seen me as anything but a mate.
Should I tell my husband? I don’t want to ruin their friendship if he made a drunk passing comment that he never meant. I also don’t want to cause a scene between the friend and his new fiancé.
What should I do?