Last night, I found myself hanging at a rooftop bar with my closest group of friends.
It was, for us, a fairly average Friday night. We were at a local bar, with our best friends, having a quiet but night. Traditionally, it’s my favourite kind of night, surrounded by the people I love the most.
Though it’s my husband’s group of friends, they’ve come to be some of my best friends too. For example, I’ve always been close to my husband’s closest childhood mate. After all, they grew up together – a little bit like brothers – so I never actually had a choice. Let’s just say I was lucky that he was such an easy guy to get along with.
At 28, I’ve known him for as long as I’ve known my husband – nearly seven years.
But as we sat around a big table, and my husband hopped up to go to the bathroom, he approached me, sitting himself down next to me. He was drunk, this much I could tell. Some glistening eyes and a big grin can give away even the best actors.
“I’ve always had a thing for you in the background,” he told me.
I laughed it off. Of course you haven’t, I said, making light of what had the beginnings of an uncomfortable conversation.
“I’ve always thought that if I wasn’t with my fiancé, and you weren’t with Jacob, we’d be together,” he went on.
I laughed again, looking around nervously for my husband. Were other people listening? Did I look guilty? Was I guilty by association?
I did my best to change the subject. It didn’t work.
“A lot of things would have to fall into place for us to be a thing, but I do think about it every time I see you,” he added.
Top Comments
I feel like seeking the best friend out to give him a kiss goodnight after that particular conversation definitely conveyed the wrong message.
Tell your husband, I don’t think it should remain a secret.
You absolutely should tell your husband.
Because something like this (that is completely one sided) becomes two sided if he finds out that it happened and you kept it quiet.
You have to tell your husband but it doesn’t have to be “your mate is a disgusting lecher and I never want you to hangnail out with him again”. Just say to your husband while laughing, “So-and-so had way to much to drink that night!” And then say “he’s lucky I have known him for ages and know he was mucking around because he was a bit pervy there when you went to the bathroom. Drunken idiot”
That way you have drawn a line that the behaviour was not welcome, that your husband knows about it and that you are dismissing it.