pregnancy

"I was gobsmacked": A mum has shared her husband's 'selfish' response to their third planned pregnancy.

A mum is upset after her husband had a less-than-enthusiastic reaction to the news she was pregnant with their third child… even though they had been trying for months.

Writing in a now-deleted Mumsnet post, the woman said she had her IUD removed in October and they hadn’t been using any other form of contraceptive.

She is a stay-at-home mum to a 10-year-old and three-year-old.

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“We decided we would try for another baby, we were in no rush so just decided to see how it went,” she wrote according to the Sun.

“We’ve spoken about it a few times in the last few months… even spoken about it to his mum and sister, he even told them he would like a girl.

“Of course we’ve had the odd ‘oh god could we really handle three’ moment but neither of us has ever said that I should go back on contraception and stop trying.”

She said she took a positive pregnancy test on Tuesday and could not wait to tell her husband the good news. He was out playing golf at the time, so she sent him a photo of the test over text.

He responded: “Oh… What are you going to do?”

“I was gobsmacked,” she continued. “[I] asked him what he meant by that and he replied ‘well you know what I mean, do you want it?’

“I replied with ‘well I was excited so yes, but from your responses I feel like you don’t want it and if that’s the case then I wouldn’t want to go ahead with it.”

She said she also told her husband she thought he was being “selfish and horrible” and asked why he supported her coming off contraception if he didn’t want her to get pregnant.

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He replied “There’s no need for this, I’m tired” and she said she didn’t reply to that as it really upset her.

She said she would expect that response if the pair were teenagers, but they are a married couple with two children already and the pregnancy had been planned.

“I feel so deflated and just not excited at all now,” she wrote.

She asked whether she had the right to be upset or if she was being oversensitive.

Many of her fellow mums questioned her decision to share the news over text and thought she could have waited until he got home.

“Some conversations are much better face to face than relying on technology which doesn’t let you read body language and emotion,” one user wrote.

Another took issue with the way the husband worded his reply asking his wife what she was going to do: “Where is the ‘we’? Rather an odd way of phrasing things,” they said.

Others were empathetic and believed they would have similar reactions if they were in this position.

“He sounds like he’s changed his mind and not told you, it’s really unfair,” said one.

Another wrote: “You’ve taken the pain, burden and responsibility for family planning to this point and if he has now changed his mind, you will be responsible for choosing the outcome. Either way it’s going to have a massive impact on you. What a sh*t thing to do to you.”

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