Fourteen months ago, I brought my second baby boy into this world.
Eight weeks later my husband left the three of us – me, our almost two-and-a-half-year-old, and our new baby.
Today is one year since it happened.
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Ironically, we were literally painting our very own picket fence when he told me.
Our neighbours had come over and inspected the colour we had selected. Then we were away, paining our picket fence.
Our eight-week-old was asleep in his bassinet in the front yard, our two-and-half-year-old armed, paintbrush in hand.
It was a sunny day, our home by the beach, my little family complete.
As with any family home improvement task, there was a brief, passionate discussion between my husband and me about doing it this way and not that way. Nevertheless, we proceeded.
Halfway through, I took a break. Standing was difficult post-birth despite it being eight weeks ago. Unfortunately, I had sustained a hematoma on my labia during the birth of our second child. Apparently, that’s not something you learn about when becoming an obstetrician or midwife. And it’s something that, 10 years ago, I would have died from.
My right labia had swelled to the size of a football, instantaneously after delivering my second child. Slightly amusing, incredibly traumatic, and agonising beyond comprehension. I remember the look on the obstetrician’s face as he broke a sweat applying pressure to stop the swelling, and when I asked what was happening, all he said was “It’s not good”.
Top Comments
My first husband left us when my daughter was a toddler and our son was due to be born any day. He ended up being born almost 3 weeks early, probably from the stress. It was a devastating time, and it took years for me to build myself back up. I hate that term single mother, because when a lot of people say it, they say it with a sneer in their voice. I had a lot of people look down on me for being a single mother. People often had this attitude that single mothers were supposedly loose women or girls, who got pregnant on purpose and wanted to so called sponge off welfare. But single fathers were admired and looked upon as heroes. My second ex husband used to post pictures of himself and our little boy on dating sites. I soon put a stop to that. All single parents, regardless of whether they are female or male, are doing a very hard job, and most are putting their all into making sure their kids have the best that they can give them.
Whenever I hear 'single mum' I know that is someone who hasn't had it easy. A single mother is someone who works damn hard to keep her family together. It isn't a label it's a story of hard work, stamina, courage, love and so much more. You will do this and you will do it well for your children and somewhere along your path may you find a new relationship with your dream partner.