Do you have rules for your husband when they go out with the boys?

Even a curfew?

The one biggest husband/boyfriend/partner angst from my friends is how late their significant other comes home from a boys-only night.

Some worry about their men. Not a lot of good happens in the early hours of the morning.

Some just don’t see why they have to stay out until 5am…don’t they want to come home?

And some just don’t sleep well until their guy comes home.

The other day on the Kyle and Jackie O show, Zoe Marshall echoed my friends’ thoughts.

Zoe was stepping in for Jackie O one morning (she usually co-hosts the 3pm show) and complained to Kyle about her NRL sports star husband Benji Marshall about his late night antics.

The night before, Zoe gave Benji a curfew of 11pm. According to Benji, who phoned in to tell his side, he regularly gets a curfew before hitting up the night with the boys. Benji explained that, as 11pm rolled in, he felt weird telling his mates he had to go home…because of his wife. So he sent her a text asking to stay out another hour, which she was fine with. All was good until he turned up at 12:07am…

Benji and Zoe Marshall. Image via Instagram.

Now, you might find this unreasonable. But Zoe makes a good point, she doesn’t sleep well without Benji home and safe, plus she had to get up pretty early to get to the morning show.

But, Benji did confess that he thought his curfews were unreasonable. Not the time, but more that he has them.

A couple of listeners called in, and the curfew issue divided them. One caller said that her fiance has a curfew, and explained "rules in general for men are pretty good, otherwise they go astray”. While another caller said the rules that we put on each other probably leads to divorce later on due to lack of trust.

When I asked the team in the office, no one admitted to putting a curfew on their guy. When I probed further, having their boyfriend or husband stumble in at 7am is (theoretically) completely fine.


On one condition.

Their partners kept them informed that they would be stumbling in at 7am.

Whether a text or a quick call, if their partner let them know where they were and when they would be home, time made no difference.

Now…if you are a How I Met Your Mother fan, you would know that nothing good happens after 2am.

I have to admit, I am not a party animal (any more). Sure, I’ve had nights where I’ve stumbled home at sunrise, but nowadays I’m more likely to be looking for excuses to leave the bar at midnight than look for reasons to stay.

My husband is no party animal either. But he does have the occasional big night where he is home past 2am. And I’m the same as my colleagues. I don’t really mind when he stumbles home, but I do like a time that he expects to be home.

Now some would argue that even the whole, send me a text to tell me when you’ll be home, is keeping tabs on your guy. “Gotta let the misses know when I will be home,” sort of thing. But I disagree.

With late nights and alcohol, anything can happen. King hits. Coward punches. Falling asleep on a train and not waking up until whoop whoop. The thing that keeps me up when my husband isn’t home is worry that he’s safe more than anything else. And most of my colleagues agree.

After all, if I was out and planned to be home even later than I thought, I would have no problem letting my husband know I would be home late. I just think it’s respectful. Not him being paranoid and controlling.

Do you ask your partner to be home at a certain time? Or that they tell you when they expect to be home? Or…do you have a curfew?

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