'A letter to the woman who so desperately wants my husband.'

The author of this story has chosen to stay Anonymous, but is known to Mamamia. 

I found out about you because you sent my husband a photo of yourself. I asked him about you and he said you were helping with work issues. I trusted him and felt that you living far away had little risk (he has numerous female friends). Little did I realise the havoc you would bring.

Then one day I stumbled upon cringeworthy emails from you about the time you went to his hotel room four months prior. Obviously I was distraught but he told me he had ended it and wanted our marriage to continue. This was a terrible period for us as I struggled to come to terms with his infidelity and move forward.

Then he entered what can only be described as a black hole where he questioned everything about his childhood, our marriage and family, his career and his mortality.

He left our family home for five terrible weeks. During this time you have been in contact.

Any honourable woman with integrity would know he was married and leave him alone until he sorted out what he wanted.

Now he has committed to turn his life around as well as seeking the psychiatric care he has so obviously needed.

Are you so deluded to think you had a real relationship? It was pure fantasy, an illusion. There was never any real life to it.

You have not been the mother to his children, had wonderful holidays with him, cooked his meals, woken up next to him day after day, shared a life of 30 years or sat with him when he was diagnosed with cancer and cared for him after surgery and weekly chemo sessions.


It must be awful to know you mistook his attention for something more and he misrepresented the situation and his feelings.

I am sorry you have never had a man pay you attention – he is kind, generous, cultured, intelligent and loving. Obviously that is why I married him.

While he has been showing you attention he has still been showing attention, love and affection to me, and been loving and kind to our children and his parents and siblings. You never had exclusivity over his attention.

How dare you try and persuade him to be with you and declare your love for him. Despite his indiscretion he truly is an honourable man who has been in a very bad place. Really – what type of woman sleeps with a married man? Your desperation is embarrassing.

Our family, good friends and colleagues all know who you are and what you have done. They are appalled by your selfish behaviour and lack of respect shown to our family.

We will come across each other in the future.

You need to be prepared for that.