This is a truly serious matter.
Mornings are not fun for most of us. In fact, if you’re anything like me, when I wake up in the morning my hair closely resembles a bird’s nest, my breath is a bit funky and I struggle to communicate anything beyond the words, “skinny latte please.”
But I face an unspoken pressure that makes my mornings a little bit harder – because I’m a woman.
And, let’s be honest, the fact that a few physical differences are the reason why I lose a huge chunk of sleep every morning is not fair at all. It’s bullshit, in fact.
Let me explain: Every weekday, my alarm goes off 45 minutes before my boyfriend’s, despite both of us starting work at the exact same time.
The reason I get up 45 minutes earlier? I use that time to apply two different layers of beige-coloured paint known as ‘foundation’ to my skin; to pat powders of various colours across my face and then I top it off with black goop on my eyelashes. Oh and don’t forgot the hot stick I use (that I regularly burn my ears with) to make my hair form into neat curls.
Then I have to choose my outfit for the day – and while it’s not exactly a full-scale Cher Horowitz operation that involves an entire room for my wardrobe, I still feel compelled to take this decision pretty seriously.
I know, I know. You’re going to tell me that 45 minutes of grooming is my choice. That I live in a civilised, equal society where, thank God, I’m allowed to get a job at all.