“I’m not going to avoid it or lock it away and power on as if nothing has happened, which I’m prone to doing. I have to get this right so that I can somehow feel whole again, or a version of that. I know that this will forever change me in small and big ways.” – Em Rusciano
Last weekend, comedian and radio host Em Rusciano revealed she had lost a baby boy just before 13 weeks. She spoke about the exquisite pain in a raw and grief-stricken Facebook post.
Despite the fact that one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, it is still an unspoken subject and one that mothers and their partners often grieve privately. For some, miscarriage is private, but often shrouded in secrecy is a feeling of inadequacy, of shame.
Bravely, Em, a public figure hosting a new and high-profile morning radio show, chose to reveal to her employer, and her audience, the reasons why she needs to be off-air.
Em’s employer, 2DayFM, has been extremely supportive and respectful of her need to take time away from work to recover. And this ought to be applauded. Unfortunately though, this is not always the reality for some employees – and another reason why women choose to keep their miscarriage private.
As a mother who has grieved what might have been through miscarriage, I acknowledge it is very difficult to navigate the emotional roller coaster – “at least you know you can get pregnant” is an over-used, potentially true, but unhelpful consolation. But overlay all that with a need for time off from work, or medical treatment, and mothers are also faced with the decision as to how to navigate this on the work front.