real life

"Straight people say the strangest things."

When you’re gay, straight people say the strangest things. The thing I find the most amusing is when I meet new people. They have this need to communicate to me that they’re straight. It generally goes a little something like this…

“You know, I don’t bat for your team, but I really like your hair.”

Or…

“Just so you know, I’m straight. (Insert nervous laughter).

Or…

“I really like penis.”

At the time these sentences explode from an awkward straight person’s mouth, 3 things run through my mind.

Do I:

1. Give them a little wink to freak them out.

2. Make a sarcastic comment about the fact that my fiancé is a former swimwear model.

3. Say nothing, smile and say ‘Good to know’.

I generally opt for number 3 because I’m polite.

It’s tough though, because it happens ALL THE TIME and I really want to educate people that although I appreciate that their self-love is obviously very high, gay people aren’t into everybody.

Straight friends. I want to tell you something really important: Gay people are not going to hit on you. Probably ever.
“What?! Why not?” I hear you say.

For starters, we now definitely know that you’re not gay, but we probably picked that up way before you even said anything. It’s pretty easy to pick someone who’s straight. The deer in headlights look when our sexuality came up gave you away.

Secondly, there’s a 99% chance that you’re not our type, but it’s kind of cute that you might assume that you are.

Like you, we have specific tastes. Just because you have the genitalia that we like, doesn’t shoot you to the top of our list. I don’t know about you, but I go for a nice face and someone who bats for my team.

Thirdly, and this is probably the most important point of all: We’re not sexual predators.
Just because we’re gay doesn’t mean that we participate in threesomes, are going to steal your girlfriend or boyfriend, that we’re sexually promiscuous and that everyone to us is a piece of meat.

I want you to do me a massive favour.

The next time you meet someone who is gay, just treat him or her like you would any other straight person. You don’t need to tell them that you’re straight, just be cool.

Just be cool.

This post was originally published on Courtney’s blog, Reasons to date Courtney Beck. It has been republished here with full permission.

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