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If you haven’t tried to take a photo of a teenage girl recently, here’s something to know: It’s impossible. Not because they don’t look great in photos – if only teenage girls knew how utterly beautiful they are – but because they shout at you a lot.
ANGLES! ANGLES! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE YOU HOLDING THE PHONE LIKE THAT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! WAIT LET ME LOOK….
And then they snatch the phone out of your hand and peer angrily at your pathetic work while making faces and noises of deep exasperation.
The shouting continues.
WHY ARE MY KNEES IN THE PHOTO? AND ARE YOU SERIOUSLY IN PORTRAIT MODE? FORGET IT! JUST FORGET IT.
As they walk away, disgusted by your angles, you are left alone to take a long, hard look at yourself and question what choices got you to this point. Mostly, it was the choice to give birth to a daughter 13-17 years previously because if you’re older than 25, everything you know about taking a photo is wrong. In fact don’t even try. Simply know that you are a fool and you may as well just use the phone to hit yourself repeatedly in the face.
Frankly, that would be more pleasant than the absolute caning you will receive for the following reasons: