Content warning: This post includes discussion of stillbirth that may be distressing to some readers.

Trudy Vains can't remember much of the 15 years she spent as an alcoholic. But what she remembers is how it all began.

It was this event in particular that forced Trudy to reassess the life she was living. Because Trudy knew deep down that things had to change - not only for her own sake, but for her family too.

"After Michael's death I drank myself into a stupor every night and I would wake up in the morning and repeat the cycle. And one day I just woke up and felt absolutely disgusted with myself in every way you could possibly think of. And the vomiting would begin. It was at this point that I realised I didn't want to live like this anymore - I couldn't go on living like this."

Around 2010, Trudy made the decision to quit drinking for good.

It wasn't an easy transition, considering her body was so used to being numbed by alcohol after the last 15 years. But once she got through the cravings and the period of withdrawal vomiting, her world started to shift in the right direction. Things were clearer. And it was a yoga DVD that set Trudy on a new path.

"Finding yoga was my lifesaver. I was able to lose some of the drinking weight, I stopped smoking, and I began to take care of myself. Even my personality changed - I was finally a nice person to be around," she said.

Fortunately, Trudy had her partner Craig by her side through it all, who at the same time decided he would also quit drinking. It was a course correction that would change their lives for the better.

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"When I decided to become sober, I went to him that day and said I don't want to do this anymore. He then said he was so tired and sick too. I don't miss alcohol one bit now. My husband and I are much happier now. We are careful about who we surround ourselves with and where we go - we've had instances of having our drinks spiked at private parties, so we choose not to go anywhere with alcohol."

Of course sobriety doesn't fix absolutely everything. Trudy still had to face challenges with her physical health, with the six car accidents severely affecting her back.

By the time 2016 rolled around, Trudy had faced another injury. Only this time did doctors realise the full extent of Trudy's back problems.

"My spine ultimately took a lot of hits. After jarring my back things become worse - I went for a lower back X-ray and scans, which revealed a broken vertebra was pressing on my spinal nerve. The pain was terrible," Trudy said.

She has since had two back surgeries and is now in much better shape.

But something that needs more space and time is Trudy's familial relationships. Currently, she remains mostly estranged from her family.

"Many of them won't have anything to do with us. Other family members we have chosen to distance ourselves from. We've had to become happy in our own little space and build our own pseudo-family, whether its friends or fellow yoga lovers," Trudy said.

Trudy hopes that by sharing her story she will be helping someone about to hit rock bottom. Because she knows better than anyone that you can always come back from adversity.

"You can overcome anything without alcohol. That's what I want people to know - you can always find something else to make you feel good and worthwhile other than alcohol. My life has been a very, very hard one. But from it all I've learned alcohol isn't the answer."

To read Trudy Vains' book Fused or to hear more of her story, you can visit her website here.

If this post brought up any issues for you, you can contact Drug Aware , Australia's 24hr alcohol and drug support line. You can reach them on (08) 9442 5000 or 1800 198 024.

If this has raised any issues for you or if you would like to speak with someone, please contact the Sands Australia 24-hour support line on 1300 072 637.

You can download Never Forgotten: Stories of love, loss and healing after miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death for free here.

Feature Image: Supplied.

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