teens

"I am a better person because my mum nagged me."

If you feel like conversations with your teenage daughter are going around in circles and mainly consist of you telling her to a) pick the towels up off the (GODDAMN) floor and b) clean your (REVOLTING) bedroom, then you might just be doing something right.

Research out of the University of Essex says that girls with mums who “nag” them are more likely to go avoid teenage pregnancy, go to University, and secure higher paying jobs.

But let’s pause on the term “nag” for a moment. Traditionally, the term is extremely gendered, and is inarguably loaded with negative connotations. No one wants to be a nag. But alas – nagging becomes rather inevitable when you’re the primary parent responsible for the majority (if not all) of the housework.

Nagging mums, you're doing something right. Image via The WB.
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So let's throw the outdated and sexist definition of "nag" out the window. What it really means is to hold those around you to high standards, and keep them accountable. Simply, being a "nag" means you give a sh*t. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

As the daughter of a "nag", I am very grateful. A day off school never went down without a fight, and most of the time I figured it really wasn't worth it. Mum's far from a perfectionist, but she drilled into me the importance of working hard. She was always on our backs about doing our homework first thing, so we could put it away and not worry about it for the rest of the night. But her "nagging" achieved one thing that the study didn't acknowledge.

Her nagging gave me a clear sense of justice. Of what was fair. Of what was right and wrong.

Celebrity mums with their daughters.

Even though I slammed doors, shouted and at times pretended to ignore her, deep down I was learning that leaving my towels on the floor for Mum to clean up is frankly bullsh*t. Eating a meal prepared by my mum after she's worked all day, and then leaving the remnants on the table for her to clear is absurd.

All the cliches about "what did your last slave die of?" are so true. 

Nagging teaches daughters, and I'm sure sons (although they weren't included in the study) about agency and sticking up for yourself.

Perhaps the value of nagging lies not so much in what is said - but in the act of nagging itself. 

So even though it may appear like your daughters are blocking their ears, all your nagging could be doing them enormous favours.

Make sure they sincerely thank you when they land their high-paying job.

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