"10 things I can no longer say to my 10-year-old."

Don’t humiliate them, and yourself.

It’s my fault. The words came out of my mouth before I could stop myself. The second I looked at my son’s face, I knew I had made a terrible mistake.

We were eating an early dinner with the rest of Philip’s indoor soccer team when the words few out of my mouth. The silence that followed, the humiliation and then the giggles from his friends.

It was then that I realised that there are lots of things I can’t say to my 10-year-old son anymore.

I’d better list them all down so I don’t forget any of them, or risk getting that look again:

1. “Honey, would you like me to cut your burger in half?”

Yes, I actually said this. This is the incident to which I was referring. Bad, I know.

In my defense it was a really big hamburger with a giant side of hot chips. He and his friends were gathered around one end of the table and the other mums and I on the other. I glanced up to see Philip trying to get his mouth around for one bite when I offered my assistance.

He shot me a look, and put the burger down. I braced myself for a smart comment but received silence instead, which was even worse. Then his friend said, “He’s not a baby”. And the rest erupted into laughter.

As soon as we returned to the car I apologised and Philip solemnly nodded. All he said was, “It was really embarrassing Mum”.

2. "I love you."

Let me qualify this. I am allowed to say "I love you" in the privacy of our own home but I have been expressly forbidden from calling it out from the car as I drop him off at school.

In my son's defense, he has reminded me of this several times. So I ask what I was allowed to say instead. It doesn't feel right to tell his younger brother that I love him as I drive away and say nothing to Philip.

"Just wave," he said.

So that's what I do and he gives me a subtle chin nod in return.

3. "Did you flush the toilet?"

Once again, I must explain. Philip is 10 and yes he knows to flush the toilet, but I have two younger children who often don't flush the toilet.

So whenever I hear the toilet door open after someone has been in there, I automatically call out, "Did you flush the toilet?" Normally, I hear little feet run back in and then I hear the toilet flush.

But one in every three times I hear Philip mumble, "Yes Mum, gheese!"

4. "Do you want to play with your friends?"

Boys who are 10 don't 'play'. Got it? They 'hang out'. They 'chillax'. They 'do stuff'. They DO NOT PLAY.

It's really hard to have one set of words I can use with two of my children and then a huge set of statements I can't use with one. I'm used to saying play. They are playing, after all. No matter how much they deny it.

But 'play' is ON THE LIST!

5. "Don't forget to...."

Pretty much anything following this initial statement is on the banned list but I simply can't help myself because he does sometimes forget.

Variations of this phrase include...

"Don't forget to hand in your lunch order."

"Don't forget to hand in the excursion note."

Apparently he doesn't need reminding of anything. Ever again.

6."Hey baby boy."

Philip: "Why do you call me that?"

Mum: "Call you what?"

Philip: "Baby boy!"

Mum: "Because you are my baby boy."

Philip: "I'm not a baby Mum."

Mum: "You're MY baby boy. I'm not saying you're a baby."

Philip: "Just don't, Mum."

Mum: (insert sigh)

7. "Did you brush your teeth?"

The normal response I get to this is, "Yes Mum, God!"

8. "Do you have a crush on any girls at school?"

He will only shrug at this so I  may as well save my breath. But I do find stuff out by eavesdropping on his conversations and he does have a crush on a few different girls but apparently is only making progress with one of them.

9. "Can you help your brother/sister?"

No he can't help his brother or sister and if I push the point it is done with such ill temper I may as well not bother.

"Why do you always make me help them," Philip demanded to know.

"Because you are their big brother," I said, thinking that would make him feel proud.

Instead, he rolled his yes.

10. "Player", "Cool", "Awesome", "Chill".

These and other words are not to be used by me at any time, even when they are being used to compliment my son because they "sound weird".

Apparently, I am too uncool to use words like this and the list seems to be growing each day.

I won't even go into what happened when I dared to use the word "chillax".

Excuse me!

Are there things you can't say to your son or daughter now that they are getting older? What happens when you do say them?

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