How to keep your baby's gender a secret.

When you fall pregnant it’s a special time for you and your partner, and everyone else in your family and close group of friends and colleagues and extended friends and observant strangers who comment on your growing belly – apparently.

So when you decide to find out the gender of your baby at the 20 week scan, of course the public think they have the right to now too.

How do you keep it a secret? Image via iStock.

Reddit user dma4x is currently facing the dilemma, where her and her partner are thinking about learning the baby's sex at their 20 week scan, but not sharing the result with anyone else.

She has asked, "For those of you in a similar boat, how did you go about not telling people? Because surely people will ask. Did you give a little fib and say you decided not to find out? Or did you flatly say that information was not being shared. If the latter, how did they take that (particularly family members)? Was anyone upset/offended? Any tips/advice appreciated"

Many people said to be carefeul because those close to you will be offended.

We are doing this. Found out in the beginning of January and are telling people at the shower at the end of March.

People are SO OFFENDED. If I could go back, I would absolutely say we don't know the gender. People at work are constantly trying to "trick" me into slipping up and telling them, my MIL is laying on a huge guilt trip, it is a giant pain in the ass. I get that people are excited and just want to know, but I am really starting to get annoyed that they won't just respect our wishes and wait another 6 weeks.

So I know it's a bit of a lie, but based on my experience, I'd advise you to just say you don't know. Much easier that way. - erinarian

Sydney mother-to-be, Katana Smith says, "I think it's instinct that makes people ask 'do you know what you're having' almost as soon as they hear you're pregnant.

"We made the decision to find out, but we also decided we wouldn't tell anyone the sex of our baby. For us, it's an exciting secret we have between just my husband and myself.

"It's one of the hardest secrets I've ever had to keep, but I also love it. People have their own theories on what they think we are having and it makes me smile because they're all so sure they know. I have to say, some of them are right, some of them are not, but we also know that they'll all be happy either way.

"For us, finding out wasn't about a desire to have one gender or another, it was probably our own impatience and wanting to get to know our little baby as soon as possible."


The expecting Reddit user said the reason they were keeping it a secret was because they didn't like gender stereotypes.

"A huge driver behind me wanting to keep the sex secret is because I hate gender-stereotypical ANYTHING! Especially princess stuff and especially stuff involving destruction (eg where the objective is to smash things," she wrote.

No gender stereotyping. Image via iStock.

Many people could relate to the dilemma - didn't have an answer - but wanted help themselves.

No advice, we'll be in the same boat. I've already told some people that's our plan and they pretty much thought I was an alien with no soul who would be torturing them for pleasure. We might reveal at the shower but definitely not before, and definitely no names! - Leyse

Katana Smith says, "Friends of mine are now also pregnant and I must say, when they went for their scan, I was guilty of asking 'so, what are you having'. I then got a taste of my own medicine when I was told they were taking a leaf out of our book and also keeping it to themselves."

The biggest piece of advice from people on the Reddit thread was to lie about knowing if you are planning to keep it a secret.

In the scheme of things it's a little lie, unlike these (Post continues after video)...

What do you think you would do?