My name is Keryn and I’m socially awkward.
Sometimes I forget to speak and other times I recount the whole plot of a b-grade horror movie from 1999 before I notice that everyone is nervously looking at their shoes and making excuses to leave my birthday party.
After years of saying nothing at all or all of the things at once, I’ve penned some fail-safe tips to help you – my fellow socially awkwards – blend in at your next social event.
1. Get to know the person standing next to you by asking some lighthearted icebreaker questions.
“Are you pregnant?”, “Tell me about your childhood trauma,” and “Is that a planned moustache?” are all a good start.
Take an active interest the stranger’s life by asking them a bunch of personal questions and taking extensive notes as they talk.
Next, demonstrate that you’re the ‘listening type’ by placing your hand on their forearm and gently stroking the side of their face when they start to get upset.
Mia Freedman, Jessie Stephens and Monique Bowley discuss whether “being and introvert” has become an excuse for crap behaviour. Post continues.
2. Tell the nearest person all about your favourite serial killer.
Serial and Making a Murderer were so popular, you’d be a fool to not keep bringing the conversation back around to true crime.
I’m sure Susan from accounts thinks that ‘Bundy was a total dreamboat’ too. And we’ve all daydreamed about upholstering a chair with the skin of the entire marketing team.