couples

Dilemma: "I don't know if I should tell my son that he has a half brother."

A reader of The Motherish has written in to us seeking some advice on a difficult family situation. The mum, who wishes to remain anonymous, has a 10-year-old son who currently does not have any contact with his biological father.

The mum explains however, that her son has no desire or intention to ever meet his real father.

The father has another son from a previous relationship, who would be her child’s half brother. Her son is not currently aware that he has a half brother. But the mother thinks it’s time to tell her son. “I think it’s about time he knew about him [his half brother],” she writes.

"I think it's about time he knew about him." Image via iStock.

The mother of the half brother knows about the boy, and the half brother himself has met the boy. "Her son was 6-years-old when my son was born and he visited my son once when he was 4-months-old," the mother says. "He came with his grandmother [the biological father's mother] and brought a couple of toys and stayed for about half an hour."

"Even though I said that the family could call or visit any time, the father's family never tried to contact us again. Then we moved to Australia when my son was 5-years-old and I re-married and have been living a peaceful family life," she continued.

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The mother explains that while her son never asks about his biological father, she feels that one day he will. "I shall tell him the truth trying not to let my heart do the talking. I still think it is his right to know he has a half brother and help him see him if possible. It is also his half brother's right too," she explains.

"Even though I said that the family could call or visit any time, the father's family never tried to contact us again." Image via iStock.

The mother is confused and not sure how to approach the situation. "I really don't know what to do, he [her son's half brother] is on Facebook and his mother is too. But how do I go about contacting them, what do I say? Would this also mean my son's father will have access to my son's life when he doesn't even care?" she asks.

Yet the mother is worried about the consequences this decision could have. "I have a feeling its going to open a whole can of worms," she worries.

The mother is also worried about the shock it would cause to her son. "I want to do this right for my son and would love some advice," she says.

What would you do if you were in this situation? Do you have any advice to offer?

If you have a dilemma that you would like advice about, please email [email protected] with Don’t Judge Me in the subject field. You will be contacted before publication, and your identity will be protected.