One of the hardest times I’ve experienced as a mother was when a family member compared my child to my sister’s child.
My son is a busy three-year-old boy and sometimes has a hard time listening, which my husband and I are working on everyday. It was over the phone and I had to cut the conversation short because I was on the verge of tears. I felt like a terrible parent. Their words had left a mark on my heart that I will most likely never forget.
Other peoples actions and words can sometimes cause us to doubt our parenting techniques.
I received a call not ten minutes later and my family member apologised. I instantly forgave them. Words can easily slip the tongue and no one is perfect. However, this mistake can be avoided.
Instead of judging someone, a simple compliment or word of affirmation can make a HUGE positive impact.
Always focus on how to positively affect someone’s life instead of offering unsolicited advice. I know when people tell me my son is sweet, or that it is normal for him to be busy, it makes me feel like I’m doing the right thing as a mum. I am once again reminded that my kid is going to be, well, a kid. I know my son better than anyone, and his kind heart and vibrant energy makes me proud everyday. But it makes me even happier that others notice how awesome my child is, because after all, aren’t all children really awesome? (And aren’t all mothers and fathers really great for the love that they give their kids?)
If we just loved and supported each other without passing judgement, motherhood would be more enjoyable and less competitive.
LISTEN: Robin Bailey and Bec Sparrow take a look how and why exactly we’ve all become so rude. Post continues after audio.
I want to bring my son to McDonald’s occasionally and let him play in the germ infested play place without being judged.
I want to be able to have him go to daycare four days a week so that he can play with his friends without others reminding me that a kid needs his mum. My husband and I are just trying to make a living so that we can provide a safe and substantial environment for our son to grow up in.
So, as the saying goes, if you don’t have something nice to say, shut up.
Other mums have no right to act like Judge Judy. So if someone whips their gavel out at you and tries to tell you how to raise your child, just remember that they themselves probably have challenges in their life. Maybe that person needs a simple smile or a reminder that they are doing a good job.
Compliments are magical. They can make a mother’s day, especially if that mum is struggling. And they are a chain reaction of magicalness.
As mothers, it’s time to stop judging each other.
Stop looking down at the mother in the bakery who allows her toddler to cry it out, or the mum who gives in and buys her son a cookie. Stop judging mothers if they bottle feed, or breastfeed in public. Some mums like to stay at home with their children, some like to go to work. Either way is great.
Motherhood is not a war. We are not competing for top mum.
There is no one right way to parent. Every mum questions the choices she makes. Let’s not make these choices harder. Motherhood can be overwhelming.
I want to enjoy my time with my child instead of wondering how I can do better, because deep down I know he’s fine, he loves me, and I love him. And that’s all that matters.