Getting over a breakup or divorce is hard. Especially when your heart and mind keep pulling you back into the pain of it all without even so much as a warning. Not to worry, though, help is here!
Here’s a list of six things you can do right now, this very minute, that will help you move forward and get over your ex:
1. Go low or no contact. What this means is have as little contact with him as possible. If you have kids you will need to be in contact about schedules, school, and emergencies but limit your communication to only the core items. What does this do? It frees you. Part of the reason you’re having trouble getting over him is that you get constant reminders of the hurt. Remember, he knows how to push your buttons. Stop giving him the opportunity to set you off.
2. Make a list of the reasons you’re glad you’re not with him. Is your house more peaceful, did you order Chinese for dinner last night (he hates Chinese), or are you glad you can spend money how you want without having to check in with someone else? Make your list of all the things he did that irritated you or hurt your feelings. This list trick seems to have people feeling much better in a very short period of time.
3. Change something about your environment. Move the furniture around, take a picture down, put feminine sheets on the bed. Claiming your physical space like this can be very empowering and help you to release your ex. When the items you look at every day are about you, and not him or the relationship, you’ll have a much easier time getting over him.
LISTEN: Jessie Stephens decides to test out a dating experiment on Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues below.
4. Take five to ten minutes to feel sad or mad and write in your journal. Journaling does not have to be a marathon event and this might be what keeps people from using this super helpful tool. To make it easy set the timer on your phone for five or ten minutes and begin. Just write out all the things that come to mind without censoring yourself. Once the timer beeps, you’re done! Don’t jump up from the table or desk just yet though. It helps your brain to give it a cue – the cue is to say out loud “Journaling time is done”. Pretty simple, right?! The impact of beginning and ending your journaling time this way allows you to feel your feelings in small doses, a way that can make them less overwhelming and more manageable. Once you’re practising this for a while you can extend the journaling times to 15 or even 20 minutes so you can get even more emotion out on the page and let it go. Trust yourself, you know the right pace at the right time.