This afternoon, like any other school day, parents across Australia will be asking their kids: “How was your day?”

It would be a safe bet to assume the response will be … “good”.

Educational consultant, Prudence Reid, says parents wish they could get more conversation but they don’t really know how to get there.

The alternatives

The Sydney-based qualified primary school teacher and mother of four has givenMamamiaa bunch of alternative open-ended questions to ask.

“Language is so powerful and often not valued enough in day to day activities,” says Reid.

“Every little word is a clue. Kids are like animals they are taking it in without knowing,” she added.

The Sydneysider advises not to focus too much on negative stuff.

“Just a few of these questions once or twice a week is plenty. A bit like a self-check. The world is real and skills to improve self-awareness are very valuable,” she added.

The educational consultant, who helps build confidence in adults and children, says parents need to choose words carefully to convey an interest in a child’s wellbeing.

For example, if you ask the question about mean kids and leave out “to you” the child’s thinking may consider more situations that he may have witnessed rather than a self-focus.

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Reid also warns against placing a judgement and says to avoid asking who is a good drawer but rather: “What drawing did you like?”

The mum of four encourages other parents to ask questions that trigger creative thinking and curiosity. Like: Why do you like it (the drawing)? What colours did they use?

The primary school teacher says other questions on the list are just designed as an ice-breaker. For example, “Did anyone in the class get caught picking their nose?” is a silly question, but Reid says it helps the child understand they can be honest with you and you won’t judge him.

“Talking to your child is an art. Sometimes, asking no questions is best – if you can see your child is tired and not in the mood. Maybe the day to ask about it is the next morning in the car after the child has had sleep,” she said.

“Mindlessly channelling questions without feeling the energy of the child may be counterproductive,” she added.

Prudence Reid is the founder of ipigeonhole – an independent educational consultancy. ipigeonhole works with children, parents and schools to increase confidence and a love of learning by creating personalised programs for each situation. They work creatively in the fields of education and mediation to provide alternate solutions to day to day challenges.