You know what’s hard? Fitting in at Gucci when your outfit is 101 per cent Cotton On.
Now, that’s not a diss — Cotton On is the single greatest thing to ever happen to my wardrobe. It just makes it tricky to convince the Gucci sales assistant you’re interested in $650 ballerina flats when you’re head-to-toe in a polyester T-shirt dress.
Luckily, one snooping shopper who delights in browsing in stores way out of her budget has shared her top tips for ~fitting in with the rich people~
Writer and general funny person Anna Fitzpatrick shared her ingenious tips on Twitterland this week.
With a big ol' coffee from a super indie (read: pretentious) cafe in hand, you must do the following:
"Walk with purpose. Enter the store, skip the handbag section (come on, that is 101), go straight for the clothes at the back."
When there (and this is very important), Anna advises you do not say you are just browsing, but instead are in the area for a tres important meeting.
"'I'm probably pushing it,' you add, 'But I can’t help it. I just love the way Alessandro is breathing new life into the label.' I promise you this will cause the salesperson to go off with how important Alessandro’s vision is."
(Alessandro Michele is Gucci's creative director. Don't worry, I didn't know that either.)
Listen: The women's fashion research absolutely nobody asked for. (Post continues after audio.)
“You don’t need to add anything, just nod along significantly and go ‘mhmm’ and ‘YES’ as if you are grateful to find someone who can finally appreciate what you’ve always been saying."
After thumbing through the clothes, pretending you've seen it all before, Anna has another tip: