real life

This is how you perfect the "one finger selfie challenge".

In case you’ve been living under some sort of heavy rock formation, you’ll be aware of the “one finger selfie challenge” that is sweeping ~ze interwebs~

Well, ya filthy animals, it’s your lucky day! Because I, the selfie queen (a self-appointed title), am sharing the super secret tricks of the one finger selfie trade.

This is a very, very important skill that each possessor of fallopian tubes must master. (Images: Instagram)

Here's how it's done.

STEP ONE: Locate a full-size, Instagram-worthy mirror (preferably one with a dreamcatcher draped effortlessly across it) and place yourself in front.

STEP TWO: Complete a variety of hand and finger exercises, to ensure you're extra limber and prepared for supreme finger selfie success.

STEP THREE: Delete approximately 257 photos from your iPhone to remove that pesky "storage full" notification and take precisely ONE photo before it reappears.

STEP FOUR: Place finger in perfect position. Pull appropriate expression.

Here's my artwork. Totally nailed it.

STEP FIVE: Resume life, knowing full-well your worth far exceeds your ability to line up your index finger with your titties AND your sacred fanny place.

Thank me later.

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