real life

When Mother's Day is nothing but a reminder that you're not a mum...

If you’re looking for advice about options surrounding fertility, pregnancy or counselling, always consult your doctor.

Mother’s Day can be a particularly difficult time for women and couples experiencing infertility.

Shops are full of presents and cards, television and newspapers packed with advertising and your social media feed is probably swamped with tributes and celebrations. It can be tough on those wanting to be a mum as well as on your partner who shares your pain and may even feel some responsibility for it.

Genea Fertility Counsellor Evelyn Zwahlen shares some tips and suggestions that some of her past patients have suggested as helpful at this time of year…

Acknowledge that this hurts; you don’t have to pretend that it doesn’t. Talk to your partner or your support network. Many find support through articles and online communities.

Remember you are not alone, there are others too who may be hurting – and not just those who are struggling with infertility – but also those who have lost their mothers.

Be prepared – know that this day is coming and plan how you want to spend it. If a family get together is too painful and confronting then make alternate plans – especially with others who may also not have children or whose children are grown up.

Listen: How do you come to terms with losing a baby? Olympian Libby Trickett shares how she made it through the sadness (post continues after audio…)

Plan some fun adult activities that are not necessarily family oriented and commit to them.

Celebrate your own mother or grandmother, or the women in your life who have been of significance to you, and do it on another day if necessary.

Don’t be afraid to select which functions you want to be part of and say no to those you feel you cannot deal with.

Finally, forgive yourself for being sad when others are happy.

Mamamia's Infertility Week shines a light on the joy, the pain and everything in between when it comes to creating families. To read more from Infertility Week, click here.