I was with my partner for seven years, but our marriage lasted just 10 months.
It’s been one year since my marriage ended and to be honest, this has been one of the absolute best but equally one of the worst years of my life. This polarity has made for a real rollercoaster which included a night so fun that I now have a lifetime ban from the Viper Room in Los Angeles. But, I’ve also ugly cried in the bread section in Coles. See? Rollercoaster.
Like most people going through divorce, we look for lessons from other people to lessen the pain. I read every single book by Zoe Foster Blake and listened to every podcast on divorce, and still there were some things that shocked me.
So in case you need to know – here are the things that no one tells you about getting divorced. The things I had to learn after just 10 months of marriage.
Side note… Robin Bailey and Bec Sparrow share why their first marriages were big mistakes. Post continues after video.
1. You will lose other people in your life
You are expecting your significant other to leave your life, but when you are already feeling isolated and alone, a whole bunch of other people also hit the exit door.
The first out the door is your former partner’s family – parents, cousins, aunts, nephews – which is quite jarring because for a long time they were also your family.
You will also lose close mutual friends.
In some situations, some of these people have taken sides but the truth is that most of them don’t know how to be friends with you now you aren’t part of a couple anymore.
All those dinner invitations you regularly received also dry up.
You end up losing so many more people than just your significant other in any split.
2. You need to have sex but it’s going to be weird…
While I’ve made a conscious decision to not be in a serious relationship, I have ‘casually dated’ a few lovely people in the past 12 months. Very casually.