We now know the best day and time to chuck a sickie. This changes everything.

Whether you like to admit it or not, sometimes people just need to chuck a good old fashioned sickie to help get through the week.

And while we all know that your wheezing cough is absolutely not real and the mysterious virus you somehow contracted over the weekend is entirely fabricated, sometimes the need to settle in on the couch and have some you time is actually just what the doctor ordered. We get it.

how to call in sick
The midweek hangover; we've all been there. Source: iStock.

But according to market research and survey experts, Attest, there is an art form to calling in sick that few are aware of.

First of all, Mondays and Fridays are absolutely no-go days.

Even though they're usually the days you want off the most, calling in sick at the beginning or end of the week is obvious, contrived, and your boss can smell the alcohol seeping out of your dying body all the way down the other end of the phone.

how to call in sick
Wednesdays are all about doing you. Source: iStock.

And with 65 percent of managers telling Attest that they don't believe staff who phone in sick on a Monday or Friday, you know it's in your best interest to just have a shower, drink a strong coffee and soldier on.

Your best (and most believable) bet, the managers said, was calling in sick on a Tuesday at around 6.38am.

Why that exact time we're not entirely sure, but it definitely says that you didn't sleep through your alarm and were at the very least going to try to make it into work that day.

how to call in sick
Lie back and relax. You are "sick", after all. Source: iStock.

Managers also said that calling in with a vague but believable illness is best. Think gastro and other stomach problems that are likely to make managers scream, "stay at home! For the love of God stay at home and do not bring that into the office with you!"

But apparently using an STD as an excuse to not show up is... not okay. Who would ever tell their boss they've got a 24 hour bout of herpes, though, we're not really sure.