All too often, a great romantic connection downgrades into a ho-hum relationship because we fail to keep up the spontaneity and interest that comes with new love.
Worse yet, even couples with the best of intentions are sometimes stumped when it comes to finding creative ways to show they care after the honeymoon phase ends.
Little acts that once felt so rich with romance — sweet gestures like whispering "I love you", sharing a nice dinner, or bringing home flowers — begin to lose their potency. While these nice gestures signal our love for our partners, their impact wanes if they're repeated too often or are the only ways we show our lover how much we care.
And that's the ironic rub — in a lasting, loving relationship, the things that seem counter-intuitive to daily relationship success are actually the very things that fuel thriving intimacy and romance.
Desire requires distance, surprise, vulnerability, adventure, and play.
Desire for your partner gets red-hot when you're attentive to all the wonderful things that make her or him different and unique.
On the other hand, things like continuity and familiarity are essential to creating a sense of safety in relationships.