What’s that old cliché? No one said that life would be easy. Yeah, sure we didn’t expect it to be a smooth ride, but dang it, it can really be hard sometimes! That's where good friends come in.
Friends who support each other, keep you company and put that smile back on your dial when you’re 50 days into iso and have eaten the equivalent of a small rhino in cookie dough...
Unless of course, those friends aren’t very kind to you.
Watch: Mamamia confesses: The silliest things I've had a fight over. Post continues below.
After being a good friend (at times bending over backwards!) for my ‘friends’ during my twenties, it was a shock when I hit the big three-oh and found some of these ‘best mates’ were nowhere to be seen.
And I wasn’t alone; everyone I knew seemed to me telling me about how their friends had let them down and how much this had hurt them. I was genuinely surprised by the lack of sisterhood, brohood... friendhood!
Friendship is not about being transactional – but it is a reciprocal relationship.
Have you ever really consider the huge role that all our friends play in our lives? Really sat down and considered what you need, what you are willing to give, what you expect in return, and what behaviour is appropriate? Then actually enforced those boundaries?
Well, I have... (In fact I literally wrote the book on how to break up with friends.)
Showing love and kindness to your friends is a beautiful thing. And it is important not to slip into relationships where we give kindness only because we expect something in return.
Tit for tat relationships cause all sorts of issues in the long run! But I realised, you should be expecting something from your friends. That they be a friend.
This simply means showing the qualities of a friend – like trust, support, affection and respect.
If a friend is treating you toxically, treating you meanly, passive aggressively, making you feel far worse after you leave an interaction with them than before you arrived... that is not really a friend now is it?
If you’re a good friend dear soul, then you deserve good friendship in return – not toxic ones. And it is okay to have the self-respect to stand by that principle.