Speaking from experience, being a step parent is not easy, no matter how hard everyone tries.
Parenting another person’s child is a rocky road, and some of that is because often, one of the real parents doesn’t really want you to do it. They want you to be respectful and nice to their kid when they’re with you, but they don’t want you assuming full responsibility – because that is their own job, not the step parent’s.
This seems to be a natural way to feel, and the way most parents do when they share kids with someone they’re no longer with; except one woman, who’s assumed her former partner and father of her older kids, will help look after the baby she is having with someone else – and that her kids’ step mum will help, too.
“DP has been split from his ex for years, they have 2 DC together who we have for weekends and holidays, they are 11 and 9. I have 1 DC from a previous marriage, aged 8.”
The woman said her partner’s ex is currently pregnant with her new partner – but still seems to think her ex will help raise the child of that new union.
“When she told my DP about the new baby, she said ‘obviously we might need some help with child-care, it’d be much appreciated’.
When the woman’s partner was a bit stunned, the ex continued, “Oh but you’ll be having X and Y anyway so…”
Confused by the assumption the she would be expected to have the ex’s new baby for weekends and holidays, the woman asked the forum,
“That is strange isn’t it? Of course this is not an option is it? It’s cheeky isn’t it?
“I know she doesn’t mean every time we have the older 2 kids but I think she thinks if she’s stuck we can take new baby.
“AIBU (Am I being unreasonable) to think it’s a bit weird?”