Dads: stop hiding in the bathroom, garage, shed, backyard, bar, and at work. The kids and wife will find you there eventually.

It’s okay, all you have to do is play with your kids, be nice to your wife, and give them your entire mortal life and all the attention and beauty and care inside it. That’s all.

Those are secrets to a long, beautiful life, and one day, when the kids are out of the house, you will have the bathroom all to yourself (between their college years and your death) and you’ll miss being interrupted all the time with urgent matters like who hit who, who is bothering who, who needs to really really really go to the bathroom right now (so it’s not okay to have the kids pee in the tub while you’re occupying the throne?).

If you’re reading this and you’re a dad, you’re probably not needing the “advice” I’m going to shell out. But most people out there can be shitty, awful people, and especially to their kids. But if, by chance, an awful human being has become a parent, I’m hoping he would someone stumble upon this post. Somehow.

So chances are you’re not a shitty dad. Maybe you’re a first time dad or finally reconnecting with your kids after some estrangement. No judgment here. It’s almost never too late to raise your children right.

But if you were tending toward that reality, here are some pointers to pass along.

Just be there.

Be there. Just be there.

Absenteeism by dads is an epidemic in America and the world. There is no greater struggle, archetype, or therapy-prompt than “talk about your relationship with your dad.” By just being there all the time you’ve saved a future broken human being from suffering from thoughts of insecurity and abandonment at their current and future age. Fight hard against the struggles and obstacles of life to be there for every moment you can, even if it seems like they don’t want or need you there.

Don’t be a selfish asshole with your time.

Your stuff isn’t that important. The kids want your attention, and if you don’t give it to them, they will get the hint and not bother you again, or they’ll give their attention to anyone else, preferably not you. For life maybe. But don’t helicopter over them all the time either. Everyone needs some time alone sometime, but not that much time. One day you’re going to get home late and realize you haven’t talked to your kids in a few days, and you’ll wonder where all the hours went. Play this scene over in your mind and adjust accordingly. This also goes for your precious stuff that you don’t want them touching.

Be awesome father's like these celebrities. TAP THE PHOTO to see them on Father's Day...

TAP THE PHOTO to to see how the stars spent Father's Day (Post continues after gallery)...

GALLERY: How the celebrities spent Father's Day.

Giuliana Rancic's husband Bill with their son Duke

Drew Barrymore's husband Will Kopelman with their daughter's Frankie and Olive

Cindy Crawford wished her husband Rande Gerber a happy Father's Day with a throwback picture

Lindsay Price wished her dad a happy Father's Day

Lindsay Price shared this picture of husband Curtis Stone with their sons Hudson and Emerson

Gwyneth Paltrow wished Chris Martin a happy Father's Day with this picture of daughter Apple

Mel B with her partner Stephen Belafonte and children Madison, Phoenix and Angel

Kim Kardashian shared this picture of Kanye with daughter North

Kim Kardashian remembered her late father Robert

A young Kim and Kourtney Kardashian with their father Robert

Reese Witherspoon's husband Jim Toth with their son Tennessee

Tori Spelling's children Stella, Liam, Hattie and Finn

Jennifer Lopez with her father

Cindy Crawford with her father

Jessica Alba's husband Cash Warren with their children Honor and Haven

Elizbeth Hurley with her father

Birtney Spears with her father

Kendall Jenner shared a flashback picture in honour of Caitlin Jenner

Silvana Lovin's husband Mark Phillippoussis with their son Nicholas

Beyonce with her father

Rachel Zoe's husband Rodger Berman with their children Skyler and Kaius

Alyssa Milano's husband Dave Bugliari with their son Milo