The only thing we talked about 10 years ago, is the thing no one talks about today.

When Harry met Sally all those years ago, one fake orgasm in a New York deli was all it took to start the world talking about sex.

Then came Carrie Bradshaw and not only were we talking about sex, it was the only thing filling every conversation. I remember watching that last episode of Sex and the City; it was a girl’s night in with too many cosmopolitans and plenty of cheeky conversation.

Fast forward to today and in between breastfeeding and washing the dinner dishes, the conversation about sex seems to have been lost somewhere.

If anything the last thing some of us are talking about is sex. The carefree days of the nineties and naughties: sex, cosmopolitans and freedom have become the routine days of when will you be home tonight? What’s for dinner? Can you pick up the kids from school?

Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by Menarini Australia. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100% authentic and written in their own words.

Once you add kids, maybe a mortgage and a few pets to a relationship the dynamics change. The spark that started the relationship in the first place seems to be a hastily lit scented candle from Aldi, which really pales in comparison. It is time to shift the conversation. Here is the one question we need to ask in our relationships, not only to bring the spark back, but to make our relationships in the bedroom more important than the school run.

How was it for you? Intimacy starts with conversation. When was the last time you sat down and just talked with your partner? Not about the kids, not about work, not about money and certainly not about who is on roster to clean the bathroom that weekend. Busy schedules, long work hours and we seem to forget that the simple things work best. Asking your partner about their day and then actually listening and being attentive to the answer may be all you need to soften the rough edges.

How was it for you? Kindness and love is the heart of any relationship. Yet when our time and energy is being divided in so many different directions we forget that the one person we care about the most deserves some of that love and kindness too. Making them a coffee and bringing it to bed in the morning, a simple text message in the middle of the day for no reason other than to say “I love you,” these are the little things that all add up to rekindling that spark.

How was it for you? Undeniably we change as we get older and certainly our bodies change. The sex changes. The youthful, energy filled bedroom relationships of our past may need a bit more work. Asking your partner “how was it for you?” breaks down the walls of feeling alone and isolated in the bedroom. Take the first step and ask each other this question tonight. The answer may surprise you. The answer may be all you need to bring the spark back and revive the conversations about sex that led to having those kids in the first place.

In a society that embraces being so exposed and vulnerable through social media and technology, we seem to cower in a corner and hide away from some topics in real life that no longer need to be taboo.

Up to 1 in 3 men are affected by premature ejaculation (PE), which means up to 1 in 3 relationships are affected by PE. PE is leading to relationship breakdowns in 1 out of 4 couples. Don’t let that be you. Ask you partner “how was it for you?” And if the talk with your partner doesn’t completely help, then men should speak to their doctor and seek the professional help that is readily available.

Cosmopolitans and fake orgasms are a thing of the past. Open and honest conversations about sex, promise so much more.

Just a few other things in life we’d like to last a little longer..

When was the last time you spoke to your partner about what happens in the bedroom, what did you say and how did it help?

Up to 1 in 3 Australian men are affected by premature ejaculation (PE), but most are too embarrassed to talk about it. www.ControlPE.com.au has launched ‘How was it for you?’ to call on couples around Australia to communicate with each other to improve sexual satisfaction. Asking the question “How Was It For You?” will help Aussie couples kick-start conversations, so that they’re able to get a better understanding of their partner’s needs and uncover any sexual dysfunctions.

The Online Clinic will be available at www.ControlPE.com.au/how-was-it-for-you/ from 30 June to 3 July, 2014 from 8pm to 10pm EST.

www.ControlPE.com.au and How Was It For You? are both initiatives sponsored by A. Menarini Australia Pty Ltd.