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Suburban mums tell the truth about exactly how much sex they're having.

 

In the immortal words of the 90s hip hop duo, Salt-N-Peppa, let’s, erm, talk about sex.

More specifically, let’s talk about the kind of sex the mums on Sydney’s North Shore are having.

You see, the North Shore Mums website just conducted their first ever sex survey and the results are… interesting.

To start with, the website discovered the “typical” North Shore mum is aged in her 30s or 40s, she’s heterosexual, she’s been with her partner for at least 10 years, and she has 1-2 kids.

Samantha X explains how to have better sex…

The survey also found that 79 per cent of the mums are having less sex now that they have kids, 16 per cent are having the same amount of sex, and five per cent are having more sex.

Yep, more sex.

Most mums explained they’re just too tired and too busy to prioritise sex now that they have a family.

“If I’m lying down I would rather be sleeping! But in all seriousness, my sex drive is lower, I find it more painful than I did before kids, and we just have far fewer opportunities,” one mum commented.

“I’ve gained weight, I’m too tired and my mind is running with things to do. I’m more likely to have sex if I have had a few wines. I do have a sneaky masturbate about once a week though,” added another.

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While some mums have found that having kids has actually brought them closer to their partner.

“We have much better, more emotionally connected sex, than we did before children. I found after having my first vaginal birth, with no pain relief, that I experienced a lot more physical pleasure during sex because the contrast in sensations with birth and sex made sex feel so much better than before. But we have much less sex. Once a week, as opposed to every second or third day,” one mum explained.

The survey found that foreplay is pretty non-existent on the North Shore. For seven per cent of mums, foreplay just doesn’t happen, for 20 per cent foreplay lasts for a minute or less, and for 35 per cent it lasts for five minutes or less.

While foreplay is scarce, orgasms are on the menu. Twenty six per cent of the survey respondents orgasm every time they have sex with their partner, 31 per cent orgasm most times, 16 per cent orgasm occasionally, and 13 per cent never have an orgasm.

Unsurprisingly, a whopping 26 per cent of North Shore mums have been sprung by their children while having sex.

“I was giving my husband a blow job, and my daughter walked in and stood there and then asked why is mummy’s head down there going up and down (whilst she is doing the movements with her head)… I wanted the ground to swallow me up, I was beyond mortified,” one mum explained.

“Age 8, walked into bedroom and immediately said, ‘Something smells fishy”. I nearly lost it… thank god my husband didn’t,” added another mum.

You can read the full results of the survey over on the North Shore Mums website.