How much time do parents spend with their kids? Not enough? Well, it’s a lot more time than parents in previous generations used to spend. Research suggests that today’s mums and dads spend at least twice as long caring for their children as mums and dads did 50 years ago. And women who have a university degree spend, on average, 30 minutes longer with their kids than women who don’t have a degree.
It seems hard to believe, when you think about how many more women are in the workforce these days. But maybe it’s got something to do with how we see our jobs as parents. While our mums and dads may have been happy to let us ride our bikes around the streets for hours, we’re more likely to supervise our kids at home. While we might have expected to do our own homework, play by ourselves or with our brothers and sisters, and head to bed alone, we’re more likely to help our kids with their homework, sit down on the floor and play with them, and maybe even lie next to them until they fall asleep.
Mamamia asked parents to tell us how many hours they spend with their kids – looking after them and just playing with them – on an average weekday.
Annita, 11 hours
“I’m my five-year-old son’s carer and have two- and three-year-old girls at home. My husband works FIFO [Fly-in-fly-out]. I spend all day, every day with them from 6am to 7pm (more if they’re up at night). I go to bed as soon as they’re in bed and I don’t get up until they do. My motivation to get to the gym is to have some alone time. As a result I’m fit but I’m not always the best parent I can be due to having this responsibility on my own. I also feel guilty leaving them (even with my husband) because it’s so unusual I’m not there. I want to work but finding the right hours, etc, is difficult in our family situation.”
Sarah, 4 hours
“We are awake at 5.30am and kindy drop-off is at 7am. Then pick-up from 4.30pm and bed at 7pm. I try for that to be some quality time, but realistically, most of it is making dinner and chores and getting ready and driving. But even 15 uninterrupted minutes of blowing bubbles or drawing together brings a lot of joy. I love my job and I believe in the importance of children socialising at kindy and in showing them the significance of parents working and loving their profession. But sometimes the time is just not enough and I really miss them.”
Side note… Mamamia staff on the time they were a bad mum. Post continues after video.
Emma, 1 hour
“I’ve got a five-year-old and a seven-year-old and see them for about an hour a day three days a week, then about four hours a day the other two days. We live on a big bushy block so they can often be off playing somewhere and I’m not entirely sure where they are. It’s how I grew up and feels normal to us.”
Kylie, 7 hours
“On a typical school day I would spend seven to eight hours with my son. We play together, watch telly together, read, cook etc. He’s my little offsider. I have amazing parents, but I do remember wishing they had more time for me when I was a child. Dad was up before dark as a truck driver and Mum was home in the middle of the night as a nurse. We would be at babysitters every day of the week from 7am, then school, then until about 7pm. When I had my son, I was very conscious of this. I am a house cleaner and only work school hours. So when my son is home, I am with him. We live a little leaner as a result but life has taught me, you can always get more money, but you can’t get more time.”