beauty

After you have children, your relationship with your partner is forever changed.

The dynamics of a household are always evolving.

First off you have to get used to living with your significant other (and all their bad habits), then once you have a baby there are a whole heap of changes that a small human brings. Then, maybe another one or more small humans arrive who each bring their own set of unique challenges. Home life just got a whole heap more raw and messy.

Here’s a look at just a few things that change when you’re in a long term relationship with kids.

You dry yourself with a pre-used towel.

When you have to do at least one load of washing a day, if not two, sharing a towel just makes sense and is sometimes a necessity (particularly if you’re living in an apartment with kids like we do – we sacrifice space for location).

image via istock

Why don’t they make towel racks more than one towel width wide? Who are these people living in a three bedroom apartment alone, thus only requiring one towel? My husband and I have to share as the kids have one towel each. Jumping out the shower and wrapping myself in an already soaked towel is not the nicest way to start each day. Luckily, I am smart enough to know to get in the shower first, meaning I can enjoy that sweet, sweet dryness.

You own pjs and actually wear them

Remember those days when you bought comfy PJs to wear before bed, but then most likely wore something a bit more attractive or even nothing at all to bed? They’re long gone. You’re up and down in the night like a jack in the box and who wants to walk around tending to the kids wearing their birthday suit and freezing?

They pyjamas aren't even this attractive, and NO ONE is reading a book with a hot cup of tea. image via istock
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These days nothing says, “take your pants off” like a pair of daffy duck bed shorts and a Princess Elsa onesie.

Peeing when your partner is in the shower

If your only toilet is in the main bathroom, chances are you’ve peed and maybe even done a Number 2 in front of your partner. It’s just a necessity. You might only have a one or two minute window to do your business before the toddler wrecks something, so you need to get it done no matter what. Not to mention peeing in the shower with your partner actually beside you - come on, you’ve all been there.

Not flushing the toilet at night to avoid waking the kids

Our toilet is not pleasant in the mornings. Number Ones only, we’re not heathens, and it’s necessary to avoid waking the toddler in the next room who seems to wake up at even the slightest creaking floorboard. Our overnight motto, like The Fockers, has to be “if it’s brown flush it down, if it’s yellow let it mellow.” Ugh.

image via istock
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Bye bye to some of your personal grooming

You try, but time just gets the better of you. Blow-drying your hair is a luxury (top knot it is, for the fifth day in a row). Your makeup is broken from the toddler messing with it (not to mention wanting to wear it).

For your partner, that formerly well-styled beard becomes unkempt and more ginger by the day and the man-scaping might go out the window (he’s a hairy beast at the best of times, no one needs to see that full winter coat!).

Couple time is sacred

It can be nearly impossible to get time for a bit of slap and tickle. Foreplay is basically non-existent and also grossly inefficient - let’s just get this done asap while we actually have time!

Time for pillow fighting? Yeah, right. image via istock

Simple pleasures are hard to come by

Forget eating that steaming hot dish you’ve just plated up. As soon as that meal is ready, Sprog 1 and Sprog 2 take this as green light for absolute pandemonium with accompanying soundtrack. The same goes for coffee - I can’t remember the last time I had a hot one.