So, I started doing this whole thing where once a year, I put on a bathing suit and go in public. I thought, yes. This feels brave. This feels strong. And it was, until one day it wasn't.
It doesn't necessarily feel less strong or less brave, it just feels... normal. Which is amazing.
I'm a woman, I wear a swimsuit, I climbed the mountain. Rooooaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
But the thing is, I get bored easily, and mountain climbing... it's addictive.
I needed a new mountain. A bikini.
Now, this was a serious mountain, y'all. It had cliffs and caverns and stretch marks and gall bladder surgery scars and love handles and saggy parts and a belly button that was so totally lower than I remember it being before. Oh, and a stupid amount of cellulite.
But it turns out, putting on a bikini was so much harder than just, well, putting on a bikini. I had been so focused on the actual act, I never even considered the difficulty in finding one that fit. There is so much to consider, especially with a curvy body. I need a bottom that comes up high enough to hide my pouch, and a top big and supportive enough to handle my 38DDDs. That made for slim pickings. Also, I'm not, like, 16 years old, so there's that, also.
So, I took to the Internet, because heaven forbid us plus-size gals need to try anything on in a store, and ordered an absolutely obscene amount of bikinis. Ironically, most of them ended up being quite obscene themselves, and the majority of them went back, but that's the thing with any shopping experience. I easily had 42 breakdowns on my bedroom floor, but I took another shot of tequila and got back on the horse, because if I had just given up, I never would have found two looks that make me feel crazy swim suit confident and positively gorgeous.