It’s safe to say that award-winning pornstar and sex worker Madison Missina knows a lot about sex.
And on Mamamia’s latest podcast, The Prude and the Pornstar, she shares her sexpertise with us.
But before you think it might involve double-ended devices and acrobatics, you’re not match-fit, think again. Because her advice is totally relatable, real and really quite useful.
Listen to this week’s “homework” … (post continues after audio):
This week, Madison was inspired by couples who might be in a little bit of a sex rut. Maybe they’ve been together for a while… maybe the initial passion has died down, and maybe it is because, as she says, we are all creatures of habit and “sometimes that does come across in the bedroom… and before you know it, you’ve had exactly the same sex 3000 times,” Madison says.
“My tip this week, is to actually let go of the climax. I find that when you’re with your partner for a while, you can fall into the routine of knowing what is going to make them come. So every time you get in the bed with them, you’re just chasing orgasms… it’s exactly the same foreplay, exactly the same orgasm, usually for the same amount of time. And that’s where it gets monotonous,” she says.
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So, Madison says that while it is good that you can make your partner have her orgasm by constantly having the same sex, you can miss out on developing and learning more about your sexuality. So, rather than trying to make your partner have orgasm, focus instead on what makes them feel good.
“This could be anything: ‘I’ve noticed that my partner is stressed, so I’m going to do some more massage, or I’m going to try and find out if my partner has erogenous zones anywhere unusual’. Hot tip: the armpits are quite commonly an erogenous zone. So go and explore. It’s different for everybody… stop chasing the orgasms for a while, start chasing and focusing on the pleasure, and the orgasms will come,” Madison says.