As a state of disaster was announced by Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews on Sunday afternoon, my heart sank.
I felt dread. Sadness. Hopelessness. Frustration. Despondence. Oh, and the rising urge to hit my head against a brick wall because at that time, it seemed like the only possible thing to do.
Now, to be clear, I am not writing this as a way to publicly complain, nor to make judgment on any of the restrictions that have been put in place, because I know why we are doing what we are doing. I understand it and I support it. We all have to, as Premier Andrews says, "do our part."
But along with doing my part, I also need to declare: Holy mother of EVERYTHING, not remote learning again!
Watch: Daniel Andrews declares a state of disaster in Victoria. Post continues below.
As a citizen of regional Victoria, over the past few weeks I could feel us edging closer and closer to joining our Melbourne friends in Stage Three restrictions and with that, the remote learning journey. So, when Dan appeared on Sunday, in his full suit get up (and not his weekend casual choice of his Northface jumper or sports jacket), I knew this signified seriousness. And just like that, my fear became my reality: remote learning will begin again.
And to be honest, I just don’t know if I can face it.
While of course I know I do have to face it because it is my "part to play" in trying to get on top of this absolute sh*t storm that is 2020, I also fear that I will struggle with it and so will my children. I struggled last time, and they did too and returning to remote learning is by no means going to be easy.
When I told my two children that they were only going back to school for one more day and then from Wednesday they would be undertaking remote learning again for another six weeks my eldest daughter, who is in Grade Two, burst into tears.
"I don’t want to learn from home again," she cried. She cried hysterically, it was an upset state saved for only very rare occasions. For her, the thought of leaving school again to learn at home was a very warranted reason.
On Friday, she was awarded Student of the Week. This week was her week to sit on the 'special chair' as she described it, to receive kind feedback from her classmates and to feel special because of her own actions and her own kind nature that saw her be chosen as this 'special person', something she had been wanting all year.
Now she would most likely miss out on most of that and although I told her I would decorate a chair for her at home and that we would make it special for her, I knew even as I said it, that it isn’t really going to make up for the real thing, that this isn’t really the point.