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Just 7 questions we have about Netflix's confusing 'Christmas movie' Holiday in the Wild.

Sex and the City had a lot of things, but it was seriously lacking in elephants.

Thankfully, Netflix have identified this glaring omission and have us covered, enlisting one quarter of the SATC core four to star in its new sort-of-Christmas, but-not-really movie Holiday in the Wild.

The film stars Kristen Davis as mother-of-one Kate, who was already dealing with her only son leaving for college before her husband decided he would like a divorce precisely 10 seconds after their child walks out the door, and Rob Lowe as uh… Derek? He’s a pilot who loves elephants and painting, apparently.

Here’s the Holiday in the Wild trailer, FYI. Post continues below video.

Video by Netflix

It’s only early November so Holiday in the Wild is more about an African elephant sanctuary than Santa, so we’ve dubbed it ‘Christmas-lite’.

But like Netflix’s full-on Christmas movies, including The Christmas Prince, The Christmas Prince 2 and The Princess SwitchHoliday in the Wild is so bad, it’s good.

It also poses… many questions. Like, we know a semi-Christmas movie about a woman who leaves her life to work at an elephant sanctuary in Zambia is probably not going to be 100 per cent factually sound, but seriously, we need to discuss some confusing parts of this film:

1. Could her husband not have waited at least a minute after their son left to ask for a divorce?

Idk, like maybe over dinner or something? That was the quickest ‘Look, nah, I want a divorce’ we ever saw. And with just two small bags of stuff out from their enormous, beautifully decorated Manhattan apartment, he was gone.

If their son had dropped something and stopped to pick it up, or needed to run back into the house for his phone charger, his dad would’ve beaten him out the building.

2. How has her adult son grown an inch in 37 days?

Let’s ignore the ridiculousness of Kate measuring her 18/19-year-old son’s height on a door frame before he leaves for college and focus on the fact that she apparently did so again just over a month beforehand, and he’d grown A FULL INCH in that time? Will he ever stop growing? Has he been cursed with growing at an alarming rate for the rest of his life? Is he okay?

3. Did anyone tell producers there is about 2000 kilometres between Zambia and South Africa?

Accents suggest no.

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Also, it is very problematic that Zambia and Africa are synonymous in this movie.

4. Why did they let a woman with no experience with elephants take the lead in their care?

holiday in the wild netflix
Manu was the best part of this film.

Kate hadn't even practised on a cat or dog in years yet somehow, getting to work on elephants was as simple as this:

Elephant orphanage man: What do you know about elephants?

Kate: Sweet eff all, tbh.

Elephant orphanage man: *helps Kate, a total stranger, onto the truck and invites her to nurse a baby elephant back to help*

Plus, no one at the orphanage asked her for a CV or anything to verify she was a vet. She was just instantly hired. That's dodgy af.

5. WHO IS THAT BLONDE SOUTH AFRICAN WOMAN?

Seriously. We saw her three times and were not ever told anything about her.

All we know throughout the movie is that she's a blonde South African who maybe has a thing with Rob Lowe's character and then she dooms the entire elephant sanctuary to financial ruin because she doesn't like one of his drawings. Rude.

6. How did Kate sort her visa?

holiday in the wild netflix
"Hello yes I need you to fly me across the border I am an illegal overstayer"
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I'm all about the facts, so I did some Googlin' and American passport holders can stay in Zambia for up to 90 days within a year for tourism, and 30 days within a year for business.

Kate's purpose is treading a fine line between those, I reckon, and she was there for more than 90 days so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Is she staying illegally or did she apply for residency? If you're wondering if I would've liked a scene of her standing for hours in an immigration line, then... yes. Facts are IMPORTANT.

7. Can we really call this a Christmas movie?

There's a couple of scenes of 'Christmas in Africa' (again, problematic, lol) but other than that this is just a pretty-bad-but-also-pretty-charming movie about conservation and poaching. It's like the writers didn't quite feel confident enough in it, so they chucked a Christmas scene in the middle so that suckers like us would watch because CHRISTMAS.

Overall, Holiday in the Wild was a good (which means bad, but also good) choice to kick off Netflix's year of Christmas content. Less jingle bells, more cute elephants.

But don't worry, Christmas cheer and women falling in love with princes of obscure eastern European nations are to follow throughout November and December.

What are your thoughts on Netflix's Christmas in the Wild? Let us know in a comment below.

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