real life

To every mother who saw this photo today and felt bad about themselves.

Because nothing says ‘I’ve got motherhood sorted’ like a thigh-gap.

New mums, Hilary Duff is talking to you.

She has posted an inspirational selfie, hoping to spur you into some body love. 

And as celebrities do, she has decided to do that in her knickers, looking AMAZING, showing off a body that, really, does not look difficult to love. 

Here it is:

Just to, you know, make all the other mums feel good. 

Did it work for you? Because, honestly, it just left this 40-year-old mum feeling confused.

I think that today, for the first time, I realised what the generation gap is. Of course, over the years, I have realised various things that I don’t have in common with my mother and her friends (hello, life quotes on Facebook).

But I have only just had my “I-don’t-get-it” moment with the younger generation of mums.

It’s taken Hilary Duff to pose in her grundies for me to ask, from a 40-year old mother to a 27-year old one: Why?

You see I have not had (nor can I imagine that I ever will have) any desire to take a selfie in my undies and post it to social media.

Just don’t feel the urge.

A pregnant Hilary breaks out the Vs.

There has never been a morning when I have cast aside my torn jammies, raced to my bedroom to look for something clean to throw on for the school run and stopped dead in my tracks as I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Not a moment has occurred when I have paused, picked up my iPhone and thought – yeah that’s the goods, let’s snap it and upload it to Facebook or Instagram, surely those knickers were created to be praised on social media.

I. Just. Don’t. Get. It.

I’m not knocking it (much) I am trying to be earnest in my inquisitiveness, because the more time I spend on social media the more I see young mums doing just that and I don’t know why.

Erin McNaught posted an after-baby selfie, too.

Hilary Duff is the latest. According to the gossip rags she is celebrating her impending divorce with retired NHL player Mike Comrie.

They separated in January last year after three years of marriage – but no official divorce filing has taken place. So here she is instead posing in a (quite lovely) pic of her practically naked.

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I am torn in my feelings on this because I can see how she does look terrific, and if she is proud and happy and engaged and confident about her body then good for her.

But I still don’t it.

Read more: Cindy Crawford in her underwear is the scariest thing I’ve seen this year. 

We see celebrity after celebrity posting their “post-baby body” in lingerie or a bikini using the excuse of #loveyourbod or #bodyconfidence. The thigh gap appears to be the pinnacle of maternal achievement.

Last year, Hilary Duff told People Magazine “One of the coolest things about being a mom is this newfound confidence in every aspect of my life.”

“I was a little uncomfortable with [my body] in the beginning because it goes through a lot of changes, but now I’m more grateful than ever for what it can do for me.”

That is brilliant. But what makes me wrinkle my nose is what exactly that has to do with posing half undressed in black knickers?

Your body is an amazing powerful force that created a baby. Terrific. But is posing like this being grateful, or just a tad gratuitous?

I worry that new mothers will see these images and think that this kind of celebrity body is attainable.  Because, the fact is, even if it is, who gives a f*ck?

Shauna and her sons.

Being a new mother is about sleepless nights and endless questions, about a lifetime of firsts and about hugging your new family to yourself in quiet moments of glee. It’s not about how you look in black lingerie.

Yes, I worry that I have fallen into the generation gap. Maybe I am out of touch, but I just don’t get it.

I would love to ask Hilary Duff why?

I would love to let her know that I am sure she is a wonderful caring, kind, loving mother and that her and I are just in different generations. Because the thing is when I look at this, I don’t feel #girlpower or #mumspiration.

I just feel confused.

What about you?

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