The strangest things my kid has ever said. "Mum, you can’t drink a banana!"

Kinder Chocolate
Thanks to our brand partner, Kinder Chocolate

“But mum, you can’t drink a banana!” The small voice cried out from the back seat of the car.

My husband and I had been discussing the electricity bill and whether or not we should take the freeway or the back roads to get home from the city.

So, you know, to hear an exclamation that one cannot drink a banana was somewhat unexpected to say the least.

It’s, of course, quite true. You can’t drink a banana, but we’re still not entirely sure what prompted our son, who was three and a bit at the time, to make this pronouncement. What on earth had they been talking about at child care that day?

Look, I won’t lie.

We laughed. Because it was funny, and it broke the tension between my husband and I. (I wanted to take the freeway, it’s quick and easy. He wanted to take the backroads, refusing to fork out the three bucks for the toll. This is too high a price to pay for a smooth ride home, apparently.)

And because we laughed, he said it again.

And again.

And again.

Alys with her two hilarious kids. Image: supplied.

He’s five now. And if he wants an easy laugh out of us, he’ll sneak up on us as we’re wholly absorbed in some mundane task like folding the laundry or doing the washing up (or watching Netflix… let’s not lie about this) and whisper, “But mum, you can’t drink a banana!”

Our daughter, at 14 months, her first word was ‘shoe’. She would touch her toes and hiss “shoooooeeeee” through her teeth. No mistaking it.

How? How does a 14-month old know that shoes are a girl’s best friend? How did we spawn a Jimmy Choo loving toddler? My husband gasped, baulked and then shook his head, fearful for the coming years. But I just laughed and laughed and laughed. Mostly at him, but a little bit at her too.


She’s a fierce and determined little girl, and will be a Manolo Blahnik-wearing force to be reckoned with.

While I was pregnant with my first, I knew on a rational level that there was going to be a whole lot of new found love in my life with children in the mix. But you could have never ever have explained to me that I would eventually become one of those mothers who finds loud and random exclamations from small people hilarious.

I would have never believed that I could look into the eyes of my children and see the cutest, most adorable things in the world. There was no way you could convince me that I would feel my heart explode in my chest from the beauty I would see in the mundane work of motherhood, from the toothy grins I would get every morning, from the chocolate smeared cheeks of happy children after a treat.

Is there anything better than a toothy grin in the morning? Image: iStock.

And there was definitely no way you could have convinced me that a child shaking my arm to wake me pre-dawn in order to declare that one cannot drink a banana would be a source of (groggy) delight.

Kinder Chocolate, the fine people who make Kinder Surprises (still my most favourite chocolate of all time despite the fact that I’m 33, not three) have launched a competition to find the new Face of Kinder.

Four Australian and two New Zealand kids will get the chance to appear on Kinder Chocolate packaging and we want you to enter the competition by sharing the cutest thing your kids have ever said or done. Get your family and friends to vote for kids online.

It’s the most wonderful thing I can think of right now, in this stage of my life, to celebrate the silly, fun and adorable moments between my children and I that fill my world, and then to share those moments that make my heart sing.

What hilarious things have you kids said?