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If you have a Hens Night coming up, we hope none of these things happen.

Wowzers.

You know the drill.

If you’ve ever been to or thrown your own Hens Night, there’s going to be a fair share of:

A. Penis whistles.

B. Half naked men in g-strings.

C. A hoard of middle-age women who probably haven’t seen a six-pack since their partners requested a box of Coronas.

But some of these Hens Night disasters shared by Reddit users… well we never saw them coming.

1. Lap dance with a side of concussion.

“A stripper tried to do a cool move where he did a roundhouse over another girls head. Except he kicked her. She got a concussion and threw up in a garbage bag the entire limo ride to the hospital.”

Watch out when you're busting a move please...

2. Not all cucumbers are created equal.

"We carved penises out of giant cucumber using only out teeth. The cucumber penises were then judged, the most realistic won."

3. Poor pole.

"This was at a strip club. A fat woman, I mean really fat, leaned up against the pole, slid down to her knees, opened up her legs and started masturbating on top of her jeans while making loud orgasm noises. You had to be there to understand the horror."

4. Come here... baby.

"No lie: a male stripper dressed as a baby. The most depressing thing you could think of. Here was this fine Native American dude, long straight hair, body to die for, and smooth brown skin...in footie pajamas and a BONNET. Worst of all, he had a plastic baby bottle he pretended to pee from. And then he stripped. Worst. Hens. Night. Ever."

5. Sheltered bride turn stripper.

"Limo driver here. The girls invited me in and hey, why not. 21-year-old bride to be, apparently a sheltered kid, religious school and all that. She somehow wound up on stage, being fondled by a drag performer, and had more money plucked out of her cleavage by drag queens than I would've ever guessed. She then got completely hammered and pulled off of the stage by security when she started to undo her top. Nice quiet ride home until she threw up in the esky."

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6. That's just awkward.

"My ex-girlfriend is the child of a stripper her mum banged at her Hens Night. The husband knows this and went through with it anyway."

7. Whoopsie.

"At my own Hens Night my mother-in-law got behind the wheel when she was a little too tipsy and rear-ended my maid-of-honor. My maid-of-honor is a cop."

Hens party coming through.

8. Aussie women + Russian heritage = disaster.

"I work in a venue that at times (against my wishes) caters to Hens Nights. 15 Australian women with Russian heritage drinking from full bottles of vodka whilst fondling the worst male stripper I have ever seen. 8-month-pregnant guest riding said stripper, cowgirl style. I need a new job."

9. Naughty groom.

"The groom-to-be decided he didn't want to let the bride out of his sight so he attended the Hens Night. He got too drunk and punched the bride's younger brother in the face."

10. What happens in Vegas...

"We were in Vegas. Long story short the bride-to-be got so wasted, left her own Hens Night, disappeared, and returned the next day married to some old guy."

11. Cheer up, lady.

"I've only been to one Hens Night, but the (rather hideous) male stripper at the party thought I needed some cheering up (I guess?). So he took off my glasses and stuck them down his mankini. I was not pleased."

What is the worst thing you've ever seen at a Hens Night?

 SCROLL THROUGH for the most creative Hens Night themes...

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Like this? Try these:

These are the 10 most horrifying Bridezilla stories we've ever heard.

10 of the most horrendous things to ever happen at a wedding.

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