In a celebrity-obsessed world where people’s lives play out on social media, it can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking you can have it all. And worse, put enormous pressure on yourself trying to get it.
The pressure to perform can be overwhelming. So too, the pressure to lead the perfect life; to be superwoman and effortlessly achieve everything you want.
It’s time to bust the myth and get real about life. Nobody has it all and gets everything they want all the time.
Life’s a series of trade-offs. This means that to get one thing you often have to give something else up.
Get clear on what you want out of life and what you are prepared to give up to get there. When you are clear on your goals it’s much easier to make wise choices and to take deliberate steps to get you to where you want to go.
Successful business people and athletes will often recount stories of the sacrifices they made to secure their dream of a thriving business or Olympic glory.
Embrace the uncertainty
When you talk with people who have generated success they’ll tell you it’s the result of hard work, experimentation, failure and resilience. They have an idea, passion or a dream and set out to achieve it.
This doesn’t mean they don’t have doubt or fears, but they use those emotions to propel them forward. They know that challenges and setbacks will arise.
LISTEN: Shelley Craft on the great "having it all" myth. (Post continues...)
Reframe the game
We don’t always get what we want. I learnt that when I discovered my husband and I couldn’t have children.
It was an outcome we couldn’t control, but we still had choices. The choice we made was to positively reframe our life – starting with writing a list of everything we could do because we didn’t have children. This didn’t mean we weren’t sad at times, but it helped us refocus and move on positively.
Give yourself a break
Being kind to yourself doesn’t mean you spend the rest of your life sleeping in until midday, eating chocolate and wearing a tracksuit all day.
It does mean you accept the reality that sometimes things don’t go to plan, and yes, that can hurt.
You don’t ignore your feelings, nor do you wallow in them. Instead, you pick yourself up. Dust yourself off. Learn from the experience and keep going.