Warning: this post may be distressing for some readers.
A story about a mother ‘hating’ her third child, published on a popular online blogging site, has disturbed readers and opened a confronting conversation about regretting having children.
The ‘mother-of-three’, who posted anonymously on Reddit, explained that she had two daughters, aged eight and six, who she loved. However, she’d fallen pregnant a third time, despite using birth control. She hadn’t realised she was pregnant until 16 weeks, when it was too late to terminate. She says she “sobbed her eyes out”, not wanting to go through the baby and toddler stage again.
“I feel terrible saying this, but I found myself willing this pregnancy to have a serious problem, because that’s the exception for an abortion,” she wrote. “But it was healthy.”
“I felt ‘cornered’ into having the baby because I felt we couldn’t really have two babies and then ‘give one away’.”
The woman lost her job when she was 36 weeks pregnant. Once the baby was born, she found him a lot more difficult than her two daughters, describing him as “a refluxy/colicky nightmare”.
She admits she “honestly hated him” for the first 18 months of his life.
“I don’t want to be insensitive to anyone who has suffered a loss in this way, but I have to be honest, my husband and I both had a period where if he had have died in his sleep, we would have felt relief,” she added.
The boy is now three, but the woman says she still doesn’t love him, is not interested in talking to him, and feels “nothing” when he gives her a hug.
Despite going to two therapists, the woman hasn’t been able to change the way she feels about her son.
“I hate feeling this way,” she wrote. “I know he didn’t ask to be brought into this world and he deserves better, but I don’t know how to make myself feel differently.”