5:1 is the magic ratio of a happy relationship.

The secret to a happy relationship comes down to numbers. Those numbers are 5:1.

Now, what do those numbers mean?

Five orgasms for every fight?

Well, sort of.

It turns out the key to a happy relationship is five positive interactions for every negative one.

Marriage expert John Gottman has spent decades studying the habits of successful couples. He says 5:1 is the magic ratio, and couples who end up splitting often have just 0.8 positive interactions for every negative one.

In this week’s episode of Mamamia Out Loud, Ask Bossy gives advice for a good relationship. Article continues after this audio.

That means it makes sense to throw love at it, every time. Every annoyance, every disagreement, every disappointment and every conflict.

Throw the love, blow that ratio out of the water and ensure the longevity of your relationships.

Gottman says couples need to aim for more positive interactions in a day than negative ones. That we should try and hit that magic 5:1 as frequently as possible.

In his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work he encourages couples to “pay attention to the small day-to-day moments”.

That’s the secret, he says. That’s how to make a relationship last.

And, with that advice in mind, grab your phone and send a loving text to your partner (for even five) just to up your quota for the rest of the day.


The award-winning podcast Mamamia Out Loud is doing their first live show. There will be laughs, disagreements and you can meet the hosts afterwards! We’re also donating $5 of every ticket price to Share The Dignity so grab your friends and come along to share the love and laughs, get your tickets here.